Other clues include handsome 20-inch wheels with aero covers placed between the spokes rather than the 18s (and optional 19s) on the cheaper cars, bigger brakes with red calipers, and a confusingly Plaid-looking badge and neat little carbon lip spoiler on a bootlid that’s still crying out to be a hatch, and still isn’t.

Think of the Performance as a regular Model 3 viewed through one of those Snapchat filters that makes your skin subtly smoother and cheekbones more chiselled, but not one that makes you look like you just got back from a fortnight in Istanbul where the doctor signed you up for everything on the menu.

No, the Ioniq isn’t subtle, the weird drain-cover grille above the front bumper, trademark red N detail lines and in particular the huge and very shiny black plastic lower bumper section making it look like it was designed to appeal to six-year-olds.

But there’s a real sense of fun about the shouty go-faster styling add-ons that even big kids can get behind. And real substance to back it up. Compared with the regular Ioniq 5’s, the bodyshell is welded and glued for extra strength, the suspension subframes reinforced, the wider-track suspension has new arms, springs, adaptive dampers and bushes, and the steering rack is faster and fastened more securely.

The non-N line-up starts with a single electric motor and a feeble 168bhp, which can be upped to 225bhp via a long-range battery or transformed into a 321bhp dual-motor EV that hits 62mph in under 5.0 seconds. Not bad, while not being bad-ass enough to cut it as a performance car these days, so the N gets more electric ponies. An entire western’s worth.

A 223bhp front motor and 378bhp rear motor buddy-up to generate 601bhp, the kind of muscle that can snap your neck back hard when you floor the accelerator. And unlike less potent EVs, it maintains that push long after you think it’ll fade. Come up behind a cyclist or dawdling tractor on a country road – the kind of situation when you need to explode from 10 mph to 50mph in an instant, but never can, even in the fastest combustion cars – and when you nail the throttle the N won’t fail to win you over.

And we haven’t even got to THE RED BUTTON yet. Extend your right thumb to press the NGB (N Grin Boost) tab and you unlock an extra 40bhp for 10 seconds. There’s absolutely no occasion when you need it, but plenty when you’ll use it anyway, because it’s so addictive it makes a crack habit feel like a take-it-or-leave-it social smoking hobby.

Deploy the lot from rest and you’ll hit 62mph in only 3.4 seconds and the standing quarter mile in a hair over 11 seconds, a smidge of torque steer gently jiggling the wheel in your hands. That’s damn near McLaren F1 pace. But it’s still not enough to shake the Tesla.

The mid-ranking dual-motor Model 3 stomps to 62mph in only 4.4sec, but the Performance drops the sprint time to 3.1 seconds with a powertrain that’s rated at 453bhp here but 510bhp in the same spec in the US. It seems unfathomable that its Model S Plaid big brother is almost 50 per cent quicker again.

But despite the potential to shock, the Performance is entirely capable of mooching along like a regular Model 3, with only the slightly fidgety ride and pleasing hug of the not-a-Plaid-branded sports seats in the sterile cabin reminding you that you’re not in a humble single-motor car. There’s almost no indication from the driver’s seat of what’ll happen when you dip into the power until you do, and in Chill mode even maximum acceleration is modest.

But Insane mode really is that, to the point where this morning’s breakfast starts making noises about planning to pull a U-turn. And that feeling of wanting to change direction really does follow through to the rest of the Tesla experience. It’s incredibly eager to turn into corners, but that comes at the expense of a slightly nervous feel that probably isn’t an issue on fast, smooth curves, but makes the 3 feel a little edgy on a bumpy B-road.

And it’s not the only trait that might make you think twice about opening the taps on a road without lots of visibility ahead. It’s good to know that there’s plenty of regenerative braking power available, because while the trad brakes can haul the 3 up from huge speeds without breaking sweat, the pedal needs a big shove, and the feel doesn’t inspire confidence.

Iffy brake feel is nothing new in EVs and hybrids, which often struggle to blend the efforts of the motors and the old-fashioned friction-based stoppers. But the Hyundai nails it with brakes that have enough bite at a light push without feeling jumpy or inconsistent. They just feel right from the get-go.

And that’s the N all over. It fills you with confidence the moment you start to lean on it. You know, the way the best petrol-powered hatches do. It has tremendous straight-line stability, so much that it’s borderline inert at motorway speeds, but still manages to feel lively on twisty roads. Not as lively as the Tesla, but you’re thankful for that when you’re really exploring the right pedal’s arc, never knowing exactly what’s around the next corner that might force you to change your line.

One small point before we start driving them – given how adaptable touchscreens can be, why don’t manufacturers adjust them for right-hand drive? Both the Porsche and Lotus have useful shortcuts buried over on the left-hand side, miles away from the driver.

So… driving. Has any car intrigued as much as the Lotus in 2023? It certainly gets loads of attention whenever it stops, people eager to know how it drives. The answer is that it’s a little weird.

The first thing that strikes you is the ride quality. Unlike Lotuses of the past, what happens at one corner affects another, so you’re left with a sense of being rocked from side to side as you drive down the road. It’s as if the anti-roll bar is too stiff so that everything is transmitted across the cabin, with no isolation.

It’s odd because the car comes with adaptive dampers and air suspension as standard, but there’s no disguising that it feels too stiff, especially on trunk roads where you’d want it to be more relaxing. Would the Lotus Dynamic Handling pack sort it? This comes with an active anti-roll bar and active rear-wheel steering, the former of which should help by disengaging the car’s lateral stiffness when it’s not needed. But it’s also £6599, so you’d definitely want to know it works; it wasn’t fitted to our test car.

Shame the steering doesn’t key you into the action a little more clearly. It’s accurate and well weighted, and feels more natural than the Tesla’s, but you never get the sense that you’re connected to the tarmac the way you do in the very best driver’s cars. And on narrow B-roads you never forget that the Ioniq 5 is 63mm wider than the Model 3. Seen in isolation it might not be obviously an SUV, but the girth and the 2235kg kerbweight (almost 400kg heavier than the Model 3) ensure it is.

As on the Model 3 Performance, you can tweak the Ioniq’s front-to-rear torque bias – though you never really shuffle the torque, only reduce it at one end to exaggerate the effect at the other – and the Hyundai lets you save your favourite powertrain and chassis configurations so that you can call them up whenever you want via a button on the lower left of the steering wheel.

That’s nothing new, but the button’s mirror image on the lower right of the wheel is. Press it and the Ioniq does its best impression of a petrol car, giving you eight pretend gears to play with, an imaginary 8000rpm revcounter and three different fake engine sounds to pick from, or the option to mute them altogether.

The idea of slogging up a hill in a pretend fourth gear, denying yourself the true push available, seems at first perverse – what next, an electronic choke lever for cold starts? – but it’s genius. We found ourselves flicking between EV and fake engine modes, depending on our mood, and far more often than we toggle between two- and all-wheel drive in an xDrive BMW M car. You can even blip the throttle in traffic.

Those cheesy sound effects need work, mind, so you might be thankful for the mute option. Because it’s not only you that can hear them, but everyone outside, too. If we’re playing pretend petrols, then why not give us some genuine soundtracks, Hyundai? Maybe we could even download new ones from an app store updated a few times a year.

But even ignoring the driver toys, the Ioniq’s interior has plenty to offer. Much like the way the N moves down the road, there’s a reassuring familiarity about the controls that you don’t get in the Tesla. The 3 is blighted with terrible steering-wheel-mounted indicator controls (an enterprising third party already has a retrofit column stalk in development) and asks you to spend too much time looking at the centre screen, including just to see how fast you’re going – a handy thing to know in a car this quick.

The Hyundai’s centre screen is frustratingly more of a stretch away, but the interface is well thought out, there are plenty of hard keys below and the already fine Ioniq’s interior is peppered with smart N details, including a fantastic set of seats to remind you where your money went even when you’re crawling through traffic.

Tall rear-seat passengers who find the reasonably roomy Tesla too tight will be delighted by the Hyundai – it’s huge back there. Although the Ioniq’s hatch opening gives it an advantage over the Tesla’s old-fashioned boot, the Model 3’s cargo area is bigger than the Hyundai’s, and the 5 N doesn’t have a frunk, unlike the Tesla, and unlike the non-N Ioniq 5 with its single rear motor.

That’s not the only practicality win for the Tesla. The Performance has a 328-mile WLTP range, which is down from 390 miles for the £10k cheaper bi-motor Long Range, but makes a mockery of the Hyundai’s 278-mile rating. And those are make-believe official numbers, remember. You’ll get at least 250 real miles out of the Model 3 but only 200 out of the Ioniq. And if you’re only filling to 80 per cent, budget for plenty of stops on longer journeys. Both cars can handle 250kW of charge, meaning stops are at least brief, if you can find suitable chargers, which is often easier for Model 3 drivers, thanks to the Supercharger network.