The royal family are known for their silent stoicism through all kinds of turbulent times, but they’ve certainly made their feelings about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle clear in recent months. As they continue to stonewall the Duke’s attempts at building bridges, insiders tell [heat] there’s only one way the senior royals will welcome Harry back into the fold – and that’s without his wife. In fact, we’re told the Palace has privately issued an ultimatum to the estranged former third-in-line, warning it’s her or us…

“The royals are icing out the Sussexes more than ever, telling Harry he’s not welcome anywhere near them as long as Meghan’s by his side,” says a source close to the 38-year-old, who quit royal life in 2020, moving to the US where he and the former [Suits] star live in a $15million mansion in California. “It’s very difficult for Harry to swallow and is breaking his heart in two. He’s been trying so hard to fix things with his family in the last few months. He’d give anything for some type of peaceful compromise and just wants to be welcomed back, but at this point he’s almost totally run out of hope. They’ve basically told him it’s her or us, making it clear to Harry that if wants to come home, it’ll have to be without Meghan. It’s so insulting. They’re essentially saying Meghan’s banished and he’s going to be this black sheep forever. The last thing he ever wants to do is betray Meghan, that goes against everything he believes in, but this stand-off is causing him a lot of anxiety and heartbreak. He doesn’t know what to do.”

Last week, reports from the Palace leaked that the couple had been pointedly not invited to the forthcoming Queen Elizabeth II memorial event, marking one year since her death. There are plans for King Charles and Queen Camilla to commemorate the sad occasion on 8 September in Balmoral, with all senior royals – even the disgraced Prince Andrew and his ex-wife Sarah Ferguson – among those invited. And, despite Harry and Meghan both being nearby around that date – attending the Invictus Games in Europe – sources say they’ve been snubbed. Insiders explained last week, “There hasn’t been any outreach to them,” with another source in the Sussex camp hitting back, “If they are not included in any of those plans they will find a way to mark the significance in their own way.” It followed another snub last week, as Meghan turned 42, and the royals celebrated with radio silence. It’s a marked difference from last year, when senior members of the family took to social media to wish the actress a happy birthday. The official account for Prince William and his wife, Kate Middleton tweeted at the time, “Wishing a happy birthday to The Duchess of Sussex!” while King Charles and Queen Camilla’s team shared the same message, alongside photos of Meghan. The royals also ignored Princess Lilibet’s 2nd birthday in June, as well as Archie’s 4th birthday in May, which coincided with the King’s coronation at Westminster Abbey.

Our source explains, “Everyone ignoring Meghan’s birthday on social media was deliberate and very symbolic. The family and everyone in Buckingham Palace collectively decided to stay silent instead of extending any sort of olive branch because they’ve had enough of her. As far as the vast majority of senior figures inside the Firm are concerned, she’s caused more stress and embarrassment than anyone in the history of the monarchy – certainly in modern times – and the least they can have to do with her, the better. They made the same decision when it came to inviting them – or not – to Queen Elizabeth’s one-year bereavement gathering. It’s proved to everyone, including the Sussexes, that the royals have very little interest in mending fences.”

As [heat] has previously reported, things have grown increasingly difficult between Harry and his family, ever since he and Meghan gave an internet-shattering, tell-all interview to Oprah Winfrey in March 2021. They went on to release a six-part docu-series with Netflix, called [Harry & Meghan] just three months after the Queen died, where they slammed the royals for not protecting Meghan from press intrusion. Just a month later, Harry’s bombshell memoir [Spare] was released, detailing the breakdown of his familial relationships after he met Meghan in 2016. He wrote about the tense relationship between William, 41, and his wife, explaining how his “archnemesis” big brother had called her, “difficult”, “rude” and “abrasive”. One argument ended in a fight, where Harry claims William knocked him down, leaving him bleeding over a dog’s bowl which had “cracked under my back, the pieces cutting into me.” He went on to write about multiple fall-outs between his sister-in-law, Kate, 41, and Meghan, over everything from bridesmaid dresses to Easter gifts. [Spare] also blasted Harry’s stepmum, Queen Camilla, comparing her to “the wicked stepmothers in storybooks”, and claiming she sacrificed Harry “on her personal PR altar”. In other chapters, the Duke reveals how he pleaded with his dad not to marry the 76-year-old former Duchess of Cornwall, later complaining about how she turned his bedroom into a dressing room after he moved out of Clarence House. Harry later gave further interviews, calling Camilla, “dangerous”, a “villain”, and accusing her of leaking stories about him.

Despite all that, insiders say King Charles, 74, wants peace with his son, inviting him to his recent coronation on 6 May and trying to foster a truce with other senior royals. We’re also told the Princess of Wales, who is mum to George, 10, Charlotte, eight, and five-year-old Louis, has been encouraging a reconciliation. “There’s still some love and sympathy towards Harry in the family,” says [heat]’s source. “King Charles in particular remains hopeful that one day he’ll come to his senses and stop harbouring all these resentments and hang-ups about his family. Kate is also optimistic about a reunion and has tried to smooth things over behind closed doors. William is still very angry though, and says a very long cooling off period is needed before he’ll entertain any face-to-face contact with his brother. He still loves Harry though of course, and the hope is that they can somehow find a way to communicate again one day. It would be better for everyone if they could move past all the ugliness and try to let bygones be bygones. But as far as any of the royals extending any warmth or sympathy towards Meghan, it’s just not going to happen.”