Since rekindling their romance two years ago, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez have blended their five children from previous marriages. But an insider says that Ben is finding the situation tough because his ex-wife’s parenting style is starkly different to his new wife’s.

Ben co parents Violet Anne, 17, Seraphina Rose, 13, and Samuel, 11 with his ex-wife of 10 years, actress Jennifer Garner, who he maintains a close relationship with and who he was pictured last week laughing with during a meet up. Ben’s new wife, J Lo, 54, has twins Max and Emme, 15 with her ex-husband Marc Antony.

The insider explains that Ben, 51, has his hands full when it comes to daddy duty as his ex-wife likes their children to lead a more private life, while his new wife has a more laidback approach to parenting, which he also respects.

“Ben’s parenting turmoil stems from the fact that his new wife Jennifer and ex Jen Garner have totally different styles of parenting – leaving him stuck in the middle with his head spinning,” they say.

“He’s living a double life as he tries to be a present and available dad to his three kids with Jen, while also standing on the sidelines as Jennifer raises her own teenage twins in a completely different manner than he’s used to with his own family.”

While Ben and ex Jennifer’s children have lived a more private life, J Lo’s children with Marc are more ‘streetwise’, the source explains.

“The Affleck kids have been extremely sheltered. Jen Garner lives for those kids and is there every night helping with homework, doing the laundry and is always ready to leap in and help them with any issue.

“Ben has always cheered that approach on, even if he wasn’t raised that way himself, he’s proud of who his kids are becoming. They work hard, and they’re not spoiled because they’re constantly reminded of the good fortune they’ve had as a family. They’re humble kids.”

In 2013, Jennifer joined a group of celebrity parents led by Halle Berry to pass a bill that prevented paparazzi taking photographs of children without permission. They have never appeared on TV or given an interview.

She’s also revealed her and Ben’s parenting style is to talk through the ups and downs of being in the media spotlight with their children.

“When they were smaller and there were things out there that were shocking, my request to them was always, ‘Let Dad and I talk you through whatever it is,’” she explained. “I’d tell them, ‘If you see an image on the front of a magazine, I’ll look at it with you and we’ll process all the scary feelings that come up together.”

In contrast, J Lo and Marc have raised their children in the public eye. Emme even joined her mum on stage at the 2020 Superbowl Half Time Show – as well as releasing their debut children’s book, Lord Help Me. Max has also made a few TV appearances, appearing on the Ellen DeGeneres Show alongside his mum in 2017.

The source says J Lo and Marc’s kids “have been raised to be street smart and savvy”.
They say, “As they stay out of trouble and not flunk out of school, they can do what they want and follow their dreams. Marc in particular really indulges these kids and they’ve been raised to enjoy the finer things in life – first class travel, nice cars, incredible vacations.

“For Ben, it’s a whole different approach to raising kids and he’s got to go along with it, because it works. He’s not trying to steer these kids in another direction and at the end of the day, Jennifer Lopez is a good mum, but she does things her way, not Jennifer Garner’s way.”

Earlier this year, Ben revealed getting more time with his kids was one reason he began his production company, Artists Equity, which allows him to be in Los Angeles more.

“I don’t want to go to Austin and New Orleans and Georgia anymore and not see my kids,” he said.
He added, “It just doesn’t work. These years are too important. If I miss them, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

The source explains that when Ben has the children, he’s often in a very tricky situation because his ex enforces different rules compared to his new wife.

“Limited screen time, no junk food, and hours of homework every night – these are rules that J.Lo’s kids just don’t have to follow.

“Emme and Max pretty much do whatever they want, so there’s a huge discrepancy. Ben doesn’t want to single out his kids but it’s not like he can tell J.Lo’s kids what to do, that just won’t fly. As a result, he’s left in this very awkward position trying to do this juggling act to keep everyone happy.”

Last April, Jennifer explained in an interview why her and Ben’s children don’t have social media.

“I just said to my kids, ‘Show me the articles that prove that social media is good for teenagers, and then we’ll have the conversation,'” she said. “My eldest is grateful. We’ll see. I mean, it’s a long haul. I have a couple more to go, so just knock on wood. We’ll see if I really hang in there.”
A month later, she said she has “a lot of faith” that her kids will grow up to be “lovely” people.

In contrast, J Lo shares updates on her social media of her children. Earlier this year, she posted a tribute video to the pair in honour of their 15th birthday. Ben also made an appearance in the video.

The source says Jen will be furious when she finds out Ben is allowing his children to get their own way at times in his new relationship.

“Nine times out of ten, when his kids push back and complain about the double standards, Ben will just give him and let them get their way. So far, he’s getting away with it because his kids are old enough not to rat him out to their mom, but it’s bound to come out eventually and when it does she’s going to be furious.”

They add, “These are not arbitrary rules he’s letting the kids break, these are good habits that their mom has worked hard to instil and he’s undermining a lot of her hard work. You have to feel for him though, because he’s stuck dealing with two very different parenting styles. And the truth is, as much as he raves about what a great mom his ex-wife is, his parenting style is a lot closer to J.Lo’s than hers.

“He’s the classic Disney dad, he hates disciplining his kids. It’s no wonder he can’t enforce their mum’s strict rules while J.Lo’s kids are allowed to do whatever they want. It’s a total nightmare and he’s living in fear of the day Jen Garner finds out his house has become a free-for-all.”