I was a 30-year-old burlesque singer when I met Dan. I’d just finished performing in a Soho nightclub when he sought me out and offered to buy me a drink, promptly ordering a bottle of vintage champagne when I accepted.
As we sipped our drinks we got chatting and I found him fascinating. Though he worked in finance, he wasn’t remotely boring and like me he loved the arts and theatre. So when he asked me out for lunch the following day, I accepted.
We met at a Michelin starred restaurant in Mayfair, where the waiters greeted him like an old friend, and we ate oysters and lobster and drank wine the like of which I’d never tasted before.
Over that first lunch I found out that at 48 he was 18 years older than me, and he admitted he was married. He was relatively honest and said he loved his wife and would never leave her, but that they never had sex and he missed intimacy. To this day I don’t know whether the last bit was true!
He also said he’d had other relationships with younger women and he was very interested in me. It sounds very blunt, but he didn’t blurt it all out in one go, it was done over the course of the lingering lunch.
He wasn’t my usual type physically, though he was very well presented in a tailor-made suit, and I found his personality fascinating, he was very witty and really listened to what I had to say. And he had the self-assurance that extremely wealthy men usually have, which is very attractive.

By the end of the lunch I agreed to see him again. But as he kissed me goodbye I didn’t feel that leap of lust that I’d hope to feel at the beginning of a relationship.
Though I didn’t fancy him, I looked forward to seeing him again. If I’m honest it was the thought of the experiences he could give me.
I decided to start dating him and see what happened. The first time I slept with him, after two more extravagant lunches, I admit I wasn’t taken over by lust. I remember looking at his hairy back as he got undressed and feeling a faint shudder of revulsion.
But he did turn me on mentally and I liked being with someone so wealthy – it made me feel safe.
 I was a single mum of two who bought most of her clothes from a charity shop and was struggling as a singer – this window into another world fascinated me. And though we didn’t have a firm arrangement financially there was an unwritten understanding he would help me in any way he could.

After we slept together the first time he bought me a pair of designer shoes, saying he thought they’d look good when I performed. The second time it was a necklace. And then he took me away for a weekend in New York. I was faintly disappointed we didn’t fly first class, but when we got there the five-star hotel made up for it.
It was there that I mentioned I’d like to put on a burlesque show and he immediately offered to fund it to the tune of £20000. He asked for nothing back, other than tickets to the preview night.
By the time we went for a five-day trip to Bilbao in Spain three months in, I was falling for him. I didn’t expect that, I knew I was completely capable of having dispassionate sex, I’d had it before very successfully, and I don’t know why I allowed myself to get involved.
Looking back it’s hard to work out what it was, I think it was a combination of things. I loved my time with him, the amazing dinners, the delicious wine, the way everything was so easy. I liked being pampered and spoilt. And I think it helped when he let his guard down and we started having kinkier sex – so then there was nothing holding me back.
It was about seven months in that I started feeling dissatisfied. I loved being with him but it was all on his terms. I couldn’t understand how we could have great sex, go to sleep at night snuggled up then fly home and he’d disappear off without a backward glance.

It was all on his terms, he’d let me know when he was free and make all the arrangements. I felt I had no say in anything. So while I enjoyed the luxuries I didn’t enjoy the rest of it. I wanted more.
And that’s what I’d say to any sugar baby – make sure you can definitely stay dispassionate and compartmentalise, because I’d put money on it that your Sugar Daddy can!
It was just under a year before I ended it. The money was nice, the luxuries were nice. When it was good and I was with him it was amazing. But I didn’t like the imbalance of power and knew I had to end it. He’d never leave his wife – though I do think he fell in love with me too. He told me he loved me many times.
I don’t blame him for how upset I was. I went into a relationship for money and it was my fault I didn’t stick to the rules.
In the end it was meeting someone much younger than me that gave me the strength to dump my sugar daddy. He was only 22 and full of fun. Like me he could just about scrape together enough cash to go out for a pizza and pay the bills and he was a fellow performer.
We lasted for four years and are still the best of friends. Ironically he left me for someone older than me but by then we’d run our course anyway! I’m now happily single.