Driving up to the school, I spotted two kids brawling by the gates and as I climbed out of the car, I realised with horror that one of them was my own 16-year-old son. 
‘What’s going on here?’ I said, running over. ‘Nothing,’ he said, not meeting my gaze. 
Back in the car, I asked him why he’d been fighting with his friend. 
At first, he didn’t want to tell me but eventually I managed to get it out of him. 
‘He was talking about you,’ my son admitted. ‘He was saying you’re hot and calling you a MILF.’ 
‘Oh,’ I said, totally stunned. I actually knew the boy and his family, and it was the last thing I’d expected to hear! My self-esteem was at an all-time low, and I just didn’t think of myself as sexy. 
I’d married in my early 20s and – four kids and two decades later – I’d assumed I was past my prime. My husband and I had ended up separating not long after. 
Growing up, I’d always thought I’d marry the perfect man and we would be together forever. Now, I was convinced there was no way I’d ever find anyone else. 
But once I was single, I couldn’t help but notice I was attracting a lot of attention. 
One day at the gym, a young man approached me at the treadmill. 
‘Hey,’ he said. ‘You’re looking fantastic.’
‘Aren’t I a bit old for you?’ I said, giggling. 
He couldn’t have been more than 25, while I was in my mid-40s. 
‘Nah,’ he said.‘I love older women – I even date my mum’s friends!’ 
I was gobsmacked. I was sure that young men never used to be so forward.  
And I couldn’t understand why they’d be interested in me. 
But it was certainly flattering, and soon I was practically fighting them off.

I had young guys approaching me everywhere, both online and in person. 
So, rather than becoming a spinster, I started dating a guy 
20 years my junior.
The more time we spent together, the more I realised how intrigued he was by my additional years of sexual experience. And he appreciated having a nurturing figure in his life. 
One evening, I was cooking dinner when my son awkwardly cleared his throat. 
‘So, my friend said he saw you and a guy out at a restaurant,’ 
he said. I felt myself tense up. 
Since my separation from their dad, I hadn’t told them anything about my romantic life. But I knew I’d have to spill the beans at some point. 
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I’m actually seeing someone. And I’ve got 
to tell you… he’s a lot younger than me.’ 
I held my breath, anxious about his reaction. 
‘Mum, that kind of guy won’t really care about you,’ he frowned. ‘They’ll just want one thing.’
‘That’s a valid concern,’ I said. ‘But I promise I’m a big girl. I can look after myself.’  
‘If you’re sure…’ he said, uncertainly. 
It was a difficult conversation to have with my kids, but I knew it needed to be done. 
Though I understood where my son was coming from, I wasn’t looking for anything particularly long-term either.

I’d spent all my 20s and 30s raising my kids – now I wanted to let my hair down a bit. 
So when another young guy approached me at the supermarket, I agreed to go 
on a date with him. While we were out at a bar, I caught him staring at me. 
‘You know, you kind of remind me of my mum,’ he said.
‘Isn’t that a bit weird?’ I laughed. ‘I remind you of her, but you’re attracted to me?’ 
‘She’s a great woman,’ he shrugged. 
He started telling me all about his mum, at one point mentioning her name. 
‘Oh, that’s the same name as my best friend at yoga,’ I commented.   ‘My mum does yoga…’ he replied, awkwardly. 
And after a bit of back and forth, I realised that I was on a date with my friend’s son! That was the end of that relationship. 
‘I see her three times a week,’ I told him. ‘I don’t think this is a good idea.’ 
And I ended up avoiding my friend at yoga as I was terrified she’d find out what we’d been up to. 
On another occasion, I dated a guy who had been a year or two above my son at secondary school. Of course, I had to come clean to my son. 
‘That’s OK, just please don’t tell me anything about it,’ he said. ‘And don’t bring him to family events!’  

When I was in my late 40s, Covid hit. I was looking for something to fill my time, and ended up posting silly videos of me and my dogs on TikTok.
To my surprise, my follower count began to skyrocket and when I checked my analytics, I could see that 90% were men aged between 20 and 30. Plenty of them left comments. 
Can I take you to dinner? Can you be my stepmum? they’d ask.
At first, my son was totally horrified and left replies on the comments on TikTok.
’That’s my mum, back off!’ My followers even started replying to him. 
They’d say, ‘We’ll keep your mum safe for you!’ 
It was so cringey that I just ended up blocking all of my kids on TikTok. 
As I posted more online, I discovered that I was now part of the ‘cougar’ community. 
It turned out that for some women, being a cougar was a whole lifestyle!
There were cougar dating apps and loads of insider lingo, such as ‘cubs’ to refer to younger men. 
With so much in common, I’d soon made good friends with some other ladies on the scene. We’d meet up at restaurants and discuss our romantic conquests. 
‘God, my one wants me to buy him an Xbox,’ said one friend. ‘He’s even asked me 
for help with his uni work!’ 
Luckily for me, most of the younger guys I dated were a bit more independent than that.

One of the only downsides of my new online presence were some of the harsher comments. 
’For the young guys, just hit and run,’ read one comment. ‘These women are damaged goods.’ 
That’s a bit rich, I thought. I’m financially and emotionally stable – that’s not what I’d call damaged.  
And despite what people said, the young men definitely weren’t just interested in a one-night stand. In fact, it could be a bit of a problem! 
On one restaurant date, a 25-year-old guy presented me with a ring. 
‘I’m going to marry you, I’ve got my heart set on it,’ he said. 
‘I can’t marry someone half my age!’ I told him. ‘I’ve already got four kids and three grandchildren.’ 
I’d never set out to crush anyone’s spirits, but I could see that he was heartbroken. 
With some of my other ‘cubs’, ending things has been much easier. 
I’ve remained friends with a few, and I even attended the wedding of one of them! 
‘Does she know who I am?’ I asked the groom in hushed tones. 
‘God, no!’ he said, laughing. ‘She thinks you’re an old colleague.’
‘Well, congratulations to the both of you,’ I said, winking. 
When my marriage broke down, I never thought anyone would want me, let alone a parade of gorgeous men half my age.
Maybe one day I will settle down with someone more permanently. But for 
now, this gran just wants to have fun!