When I tell anyone what I do for work, one of the first questions they ask is ‘have you joined the mile high club’. The answer – surprisingly is ‘no’.
There are two reasons. The toilets are often filthy, I barely like to use them for the reasons intended, let alone get hot and heavy in them. And my other option, getting into bed with a pilot while he’s on his ‘rest period’ on a long flight is well nigh impossible. The bunks they sleep in are tiny, so small you can barely fit one person in it to sleep, let alone two of us for some bedroom athletics.
But that’s not to say a lot of mile high action doesn’t happen – we see it with passengers all the time. I tend to turn a blind eye, after all they’re not doing any harm.
And don’t feel sorry for me – I’ve had a lot of fun. Though not as much as one of  my friends who used to regularly have oral sex with one of the pilots in the cockpit while he was ‘flying’.

This career is the perfect set up to enjoy a hedonistic lifestyle.  I’ve had flings with five pilots in my career so far.  But I’d never settle down with one. While I’m sure they exist, I’ve never known a faithful pilot on long haul flights. They have the perfect alibi because they really are away for work.
And it’s often sunny, add in booze and a swimming pool or hot tub and you feel like you’re on holiday and ripe for a fling.
They will have sex with cabin crew, local women and even using escorts isn’t uncommon. Some of them have girlfriends who they take on the flight with them – but it can go horribly wrong. I was once on a flight to the Caribbean when a pilot had bought his girlfriend along and she was sitting in first class. Unbeknown to him his wife had decided to come on the flight to surprise him and was sitting in economy. He made an announcement that he had a special passenger on board – his girlfriend. It was horrendous, his wife marched to the cockpit. I couldn’t hang around to see what happened but I found out later his poor wife had got on the next flight home.
And it’s not just pilots. A female cabin crew friend of mine once bought her boyfriend out on a trip with a stopover in Barbados. He ended up having sex with another of the cabin crew. That flight back wasn’t much fun with both of them ignoring each other. Neither of them ended up with him and the last I heard he’d emigrated to Australia!

Whether married or single there’s often threesomes or even foursomes when we’re on layovers, with the action starting in the hot tub. I know of two male pilots and two female cabin crew members who regularly hook up if they’re on the same schedule.
They’re all remarkably laid back about it – the first time I was told what went on I tried to look for clues on the flight back that the two women had been intimate, there was nothing!
However I have known there to be repercussions when a relationship has ended and the dumped person has filed a report saying they believe their ex was drinking too much as revenge, which has got them into serious trouble. And the thing is it’s often true.
Sometimes the drinking on stop overs starts on the bus on the way back from the airport to the hotel – which is invariably five or four star with a pool – with some bottles that we’ve taken from the plane! Lots of cabin crew regularly take goodies at the end of the flight, the haul from first class often includes caviar and champagne.
The boozing would often carry on into the early hours of the morning and carry on for days if we had a long stop over. It depends on the route but in South Africa we sometimes had five days off so it’s a favourite one.
Pilots are supposed to stop drinking 24 hours before they fly. But I’ve seen some of them paralytic the night before, needing to be helped to bed. There are spot checks though so they’re playing with fire.
Some pilots will insist on doing the second flying shift on the plane so they can sleep off the boozy nights out. But I’ve known pilots and cabin crew to use passenger oxygen to help with their hangovers – I can vouch for it working!

I’ve had flights where I’ve fallen asleep standing up at the back of the plane as I’m so exhausted from all the partying. And one where I was throwing up between serving drinks and food as I’d hit the bottle the night before.
My top tip for passengers is ‘Always smile at the cabin crew’. If you’re obnoxious we will seek revenge. Your bread roll is a target, I’ve wiped one round the toilet rim before when a passenger was particularly rude, complaining that he’d waited too long for his drink and I was there to look after him. I am, but there are hundreds of other passengers on board too! And I’m definitely not alone in doing this.
The flip side is if you’re good looking and charming, I’ll write my number on the serviette and then pass him the drink – it’s worked out a couple of times!
Once though I was really embarrassed. There was a really handsome man in first class who I’d been looking after. When he left the plane, walking past me and said thank you, I absent mindedly leant in for a kiss! He was not impressed!

And my last confession is that I know some airlines just do a very cursory clean of the whole cabin – particularly on short haul flights. So bring your anti-bacterial wipes.
I’d never walk barefoot in a cabin, I’ve seen what has been on the floor – everything from vomit to poo and you aren’t going to get that completely out of a carpet.
Even sleeping in a first-class bed makes me cringe – imagining everything that’s gone on in there before!