Hands trembling, I pressed send before I could talk myself out of it. Then the words: Claude is typing appeared and the anxiety hit even harder. How are you pregnant? Are you sure? he wrote. Taking a deep breath, I replied…

Yes, and you have two choices, you can opt out now and that is fine with me – or if you choose to be in the baby’s life then you need to be in it forever. This doesn’t mean we need to be together.

Claude and I met four months earlier on Tinder. I was a mum of four and I’d not long come out of a five-year marriage. Neither of us were looking for anything serious. But Claude was special.

I’d spent my early twenties being non-monogamous and after coming away from that lifestyle during my marriage, I wanted to re-enter that world again, and Claude was happy for me to.

In fact, he even joined me and a pal in bed one night and we had a threesome together.
The day after announcing my pregnancy news to Claude, he phoned me…‘I’ve thought long and hard, and I want to be a part of my baby’s life,’ he said.

In time, we got into a relationship. Heading into the kitchen one day, I noticed a tower of plates piled up in the sink.

‘Claude, could you do me a favour and wash those, please?’ I asked. Then, he took off his top and that’s when I saw it. Permanent black ink covered his arms, spelling out the words: Will you marry me? ‘Oh my gosh!’ I shrieked.

‘Well, you always wanted me to get a tattoo,’ Claude winked. ‘So, what do you say?’
‘Yes,’ I cried, giving my new fiancé a smooch.

Although I couldn’t wait to become Claude’s wife, I still craved non-monogamy and having relationships with other women.

I grew up in a blended family and loved the idea of opening up my own family. It meant there would be more people to love and be loved by.

‘I think I’m ready to open up our relationship,’ I said to Claude one day. ‘I’m happy for you to explore, I’m just not sure I could be intimate with someone else,’ he said.

We’d had the threesome before we were in a serious relationship and now, as a married couple, the thought of having sex with another woman just didn’t sit right with him.

But soon enough, Claude got on board. Soon after having our daughter, we got married and then another little girl joined our family.

As a mum of six, I had my hands full. But watching TV one evening, a Channel 4 reality TV show piqued my interest. It was called Open House – on it, couples went to a retreat where they opened up their relationship to strangers.

The guests were filmed being intimate together as well as speaking to a non-monogamy coach to help them work through any concerns. I loved that it presented different types of relationships, from couple swaps, to threesomes, to orgies.

‘We should apply,’ I said. And to my delight, Claude was up for it. We liked that everyone on the show was there for the right reasons and had similar morals to us.

In the meantime, we started attending sex parties together. A year after applying for Open House, we were offered a place on the show! We both came from very supportive families and our loves ones all approved of our decision.

Arriving at the retreat in a secret UK location, I was buzzing. ‘Are you sure you’re up for this?’ I asked Claude. ‘If this is what you want, then it’s what I want,’ he replied. ‘I love the idea of you being with other women, but I just feel too guilty to.’

‘Let’s just go in and see how we get on,’ I said squeezing his hand. ‘We’re in this together.’

We were greeted by the Open House residents who were all absolutely gorgeous. ‘I can’t wait to get to know them better’, I excitedly thought.

That night, Claude and I got dressed up for a burlesque themed social. Slipping on my fishnet tights, my whole body tingled with excitement. But Claude was apprehensive.

‘What if I do go off with a girl and it upsets you?’ he asked. ‘You’ve not done it before, so I say go for it and then we’ll find out,’ I replied. I knew Claude’s love for me was holding him back, but I was keen for us to push ourselves.

Joining the party, I headed over to a tall, gorgeous woman with short hair. ‘You look amazing!’ she exclaimed. ‘I was meant to be in a lingerie set, but I’ll show you later…’ Cheeky and energetic, Georgie was a bit of me!

Later, I got chatting with a beautiful woman named Naomi. She was a mum too. ‘I just have too much love in me for one person,’ she giggled. Like me, she adored the idea of expanding her family with more people to care for. We really connected on a deeper level.

Later, when I caught up with Claude, he too, had taken a liking to Georgie. So we invited her and another resident into the hot tub with us. Within minutes, I was kissing them both. And I was so relieved when Claude took the plunge and snogged Georgie too.

Later that night, Claude, Georgie and I headed into a tent for some fun. Cameras were dotted all around the room but once we got going, we forgot they were there. Throwing ourselves in, I had sex with Georgie and so did Claude. I was so happy he pushed through his guilt.

Afterwards, Claude and I headed back to our room to sleep. But next morning I woke up feeling off. During our session with Effy – the non-monogamy coach – I opened up. ‘I just think I went too far,’ I cried.

‘For me, this whole experience is about finding people to join our relationship, it’s not just about sex and I regret letting it become about that so quickly,’ I added.

Part of Open House’s policy was to confiscate our phones during our stay. I’d always been so open with the kids about the possibility of me and their dad having other girlfriends and the fact that I couldn’t communicate what we were up to with them made me anxious.

But all the team behind the scenes were fantastic support and helped me to feel better. Since the experiment, mine and Claude’s relationship has been thriving.

Naomi and I went on a weekend away together, strengthening our connection further and we can’t wait for Claude to join us next time. Georgie has visited us too and we had a great time. She even met our kids.

I haven’t introduced anyone else to them though, because there is no rush. I’m so grateful for our Open House experience and I can’t wait for the show to air. It pushed Claude out of his comfort zone and it made me so sure of what I want out of life.

My advice to anyone – especially those with kids – who are looking to become non-monogamous is: choosing happiness and a relationship outside of the norm doesn’t make you a bad parent. If you’re not hurting anyone then live life how you want to. And I can’t wait to live a life filled with so much love!

Amy Harvey, 35, Dagenham, Essex

By Paula Costas Photos: Open House/Channel 4

Open House: The Great Sex Experiment continues on Fridays, 10pm on Channel 4 and available online for streaming.