Ask any woman how many times she’s had to tell a man that ‘I’m up here’ to get him to raise his eyes to meet hers and she’ll likely tell you it’s a regular occurrence.
Because, let’s face it, gravity works in mysterious ways – and one of those ways is that it seems to have the ability to permanently pull a man’s gaze down to cleavage level.
But why are men so obsessed with the ‘devil’s dumplings’?
Could it be lust? Could it be the fact that boobs look frankly incredible in a sexy set of lingerie? Could it be that breasts are the most pleasurable thing a man can get his hands on (after the keys to a Ferrari and his own peen, obvs…)
The real answer, if you believe that genius of psychology Sigmund Freud, is that the breast is the first thing we experience joy from as infants. All those lil’ boy babies see them as a source of warmth, comfort and nourishment – and that feeling lasts, well, forever.
Or as one Reddit user commented so beautifully on the subject of why boobs are man’s best friend, ‘Life hard, life cold. Tiddy soft, tiddy warm’. That’s a bit like poetry, isn’t it?

But hey, while we’re busy quoting Freud (get us!) let’s go even deeper into the science of boobology with another expert view on why fellas go bonkers for ladies’ badonkas.
Zoologist Desmond Morris, author of The Naked Ape, claimed that breasts evolved to look like a pair of buttocks – because bums were the first part of a woman to have a cleavage!
Millions of years ago – when we were all scampering around the Savannah on all fours – the sexiest view prehistoric men had of women was the one from behind, and that bum cleavage was a signal that this was a good place for a bit of a sniff and a hip thrust. But fast forward a few millennia and women had begun to walk upright on two legs (unless they’d been on one of those bottomless brunches!) and so men more often got to see a lady chest. All of this led to hooters becoming curvy to replicate the fabulously sexy and alluring look of her bum crack. And of course, men couldn’t keep their eyes off them!

But that’s not the only theory behind why males can’t keep their eyes off a bouncy pair of boobie-doobies.
During the course of evolution, men also looked to boobs for tell-tale signs of health and fertility and sexual maturity. Some scientific research suggests that, as women tend to store fat in their jugs, big boobs are a sign of good nutrition. It’s a theme picked up on by this science nerd on Reddit, saying, ‘In the Pleistocene Period (from 2.6 million to 12,000 years ago), starvation was a matter of life and death, and not being underweight reflected success in finding food and surviving. A woman with large breasts meant that she could find enough nutrients to feed this adipose tissue, and thus men (and their lineage) who chose such women had an evolutionary advantage.’

A lesser talked about reason for a man’s longing for ladies’ la-las is the smell. That’s right – boobs have a scent all of their own! And it’s like catnip for men!
This breast bouquet is all down the glands around the nips secreting a pheromone-laden oily fluid. One whiff of that and men start drooling – much like when a tiny baby drools when they catch the scent of mama’s milky bits.

Having said that, the booby scent is not going to appeal to everyone. One woman happily confessed to Reddit readers that her breasts absolutely honk, posting, ‘I know mine do! It’s usually the smell of Cheeto cheese dust that has fallen down my bra mixed with a little boob sweat. Lol!’ Cheetos and boob sweat? May we suggest putting that in a bottle and marketing it to complete weirdos?
So there we have it – the reasons men are obsessed with your chesticles. Or, as this self-confessed breast man put it in a lengthy Reddit post, ‘They are mesmerising, they are alluring. I find myself drawn to the sight. I, of course, try not to ogle them but I always at least have a quick glance when a girl walks by. It’s instinctive, it doesn’t even matter if they are small or big, it just completes the feminine form. They are just so beautiful, and they are the softest thing in the world. It’s so comforting like you can bury your face in them and hibernate throughout the whole winter. Ok, ok, I might sound like a creep, but I promise it’s only my appreciation of the female body.’
Buddy, you’re so right… you do sound like a creep!