It may be billed as a sex party where woman are in control, but as the lift swept me up into a luxury penthouse flat in Central London, I certainly wasn’t in control of my quaking knees.
I was about to find out whether I passed muster and was allowed to stay. I’d already had to submit photographs to see whether I was a ‘suitable’ candidate for the elite orgy – that was an anxious wait as without entrance there was no article! But even then I was warned I could be turned away at the door if my attire wasn’t appropriate – and I wasn’t sure that flinging on my smallest and tightest dress and coupling it with the highest heels I owned would do the trick.
When I was waved on through, I felt huge relief. But it was temporary as I had no idea what the etiquette was at a high-end sex party and didn’t want to be asked to leave before it was in full, er, swing!
The room was huge, with floor to ceiling windows showing off the glittering London skyscape. It was filled with seriously beautiful people, dressed for seduction, but not overtly – either legs or boobs on show, but rarely both.

There was a table full of tempting treats like chocolate covered strawberries and champagne, so I grabbed a glass for some Dutch courage, and then made my way towards a single woman who looked marginally less terrified than I felt.
We started chatting, her name was Jane, she was single and in her 20s, and she told me she’d decided to come as her birthday present to herself. I rather admired her daring. She explained she was bisexual, loved sex and wanted to experiment but had come with an open mind as to whether she’d join in with the action.
She’d been attracted by the fact that women are in control and it was up to her to approach the man if they wanted to have sex with them. Equally while single women are welcomed, every man needs to be part of a couple, which cuts out a host of predatory behaviour.
As my confidence grew I mingled more, chatting to a glamorous couple who’d travelled over from Paris for the occasion. They told me they’d explored the scene there and fancied a change. I gently probed as to whether they felt any jealousy about seeing the other one get hot and heavy with other people, and they shrugged in a very French way. Guess that would be a ‘non’ then!

One of the most puzzling things was that about an hour into the mingling there seemed to be an invisible cue about when the action started. One moment everyone was standing around, sipping champagne, and the next the undressing began and some guests made a move towards the ‘play rooms’ upstairs.
There were two playrooms, both beautifully decorated in muted tones (no obvious red walls with black satin sheets), with enormous beds taking centre stage, which were soon filled with people in various states of undress – from full on nudity, to women in wisps of lingerie. A group of about eight people were soon writhing around on one of the beds – though they seemed to be enjoying themselves, it was a slightly muted affair, there were no sounds of pleasure that you might expect. Around the edges of the bed it was smaller groups of two or three, balanced on chairs or against the wall fondling each other and having sex.
The women having control was very apparent. At one point I was talking to a man whose girlfriend was pleasuring another woman. He explained that she was bisexual and liked to experiment, but that at the moment the rule was that he couldn’t be with anyone else. It seemed a tad unfair – particularly when she clearly took offence at him even talking to me and told him he had to be next to her and watch! I slightly suspect he was in it for the long game and was hoping she’d let him partake at some point.

I witnessed the French couple having sex, but clearly no one else took their fancy as they were alone, and I was surprisingly pleased to see Jane had fulfilled her birthday wish and was getting down to it with another woman.
There’s only so long you can be the spare part at an orgy – though there were others like me who stayed fully clad in the doorways – so I wandered downstairs and chatted to some other people who were yet to get undressed. One man nonchalantly told me that his girlfriend was upstairs but that he wasn’t in the mood in the end that night. He seemed completely unfazed and said that it was just the way it went. When I asked him what got him into swinging he was very honest – he liked the novelty of a new body and got sexually bored in monogamous relationships. He promised he was always upfront at the start of relationships about his predilections and never cheated. To me that was fair enough.

I left not long afterwards and even if I hadn’t been there solely for work purposes I wouldn’t have been tempted to join it – it just wasn’t for me. I later mused on what I’d seen. I felt no judgement – it was all between consenting adults and they all seemed very happy with their choices. I didn’t witness anyone who seemed too drunk to make a choice and there was no sign of men taking advantage. And by the amount of condom wrappers littered around after just an hour, it seemed everyone was indulging in safe sex.
However it didn’t seem hugely joyful to me – everyone seemed pretty conscious of what they were doing, and how they looked – which was extremely well groomed! I didn’t witness anyone who seemed truly lost in the throes of ecstasy. But maybe that came later, once the night really got going!
My advice if you’re thinking of going along…. Dress up to the nines, stay sober so you have no morning regrets, temper your expectations – it may not be one for you, and have fun!