My wife Sarah is the love of my life – she makes everything fun. Even watching paint dry with her would be more exciting than beers with my sporting hero David Beckham. I truly adore every part of her, she’s gorgeous and makes me laugh more than anyone else.
So you’d be forgiven for thinking the last thing I’d want to do is share her with other men, that I’d be jealous and worry about losing her.
But that’s not the case.
For the past nine years she’s been sleeping with other men – her current tally is 32 – in front of me and it’s a huge turn on for both of us. I’m not there as a voyeur – I take part in pleasuring her too, though as I’m straight I don’t get involved with the other man.
I love seeing her sexuality at play, and she likes the novelty of a new sexual partner and two men giving her their undivided attention.
It’s a unique pleasure. It’s not better than having sex just the two of us, it feels like something completely different. When it’s just the two of us, it’s more often than not a experience, it’s intimate and we make love. With this it’s purely sexual, there’s no emotion involved. Sometimes we barely talk to the other man.
Sarah, who’s 44, and I met on a night out 19 years ago and got married four years later. I knew I was in love with her after three dates. We’re two peas in a pod, both adventurous with a love of travel and a filthy sense of humour.
We chose not to have children as we’re both very career orientated – she’s in publishing and I’m in finance – but also because we didn’t want to be tied down in any way and Sarah isn’t maternal.
From the beginning our sex life was explosive. We’re both highly sexed and adventurous. We enjoyed making love in public places, such as parks and pub loos. Before her I’d never imagined I’d meet a woman who enjoyed sex as much as I did. My libido had caused problems in other relationships – two of them ended because our sex drives were so mismatched.
I can’t remember which one of us mentioned we’d be open to trying group sex first – we often chatted about fantasies and this one caught on and evolved until we decided to go for it and have sex with another man.
The first time was at an outdoor naturist and swingers club. We thought we’d go along and see what happened – we were open to anything from just having sex in the open air to meeting someone and asking them to join us.
I wasn’t nervous, I have enormous faith in Sarah, she’d only do what she felt comfortable doing and she’s very in tune with me so I knew she’d realise if I wasn’t happy. I was full of anticipation and wanted to know how the fantasy would play out in reality. 
We got there and Sarah was one of only a handful of women there – most were single men – so we were swamped and went off to be together quietly. We ended up in the swimming pool and that’s when Sarah whispered in my ear that she fancied someone else in the pool. She asked if I’d mind if she approached him and of course I didn’t – on the contrary I was very excited.
She kissed him and led him over and then we retired to a private space and had sex. At first I was just intrigued to watch Sarah, this was the woman I love with another man.

It’s a surreal feeling, every sense was on high alert. When I joined in it was explosive. As was our sex later that night when we talked about what we’d done.
It more than lived up to the fantasy – we both loved it. Though I wasn’t nervous it was wonderful that for both of us it was so fulfilling and there was no downside. So from then on I was hooked. We’ve been back to the same club a few times then we found an online website and have met men on there too.  We have met couples a handful of times, where I’ve slept with the woman too, but that’s a different dynamic. Neither of us are bisexual and often the couples are looking for the women to play together and Sarah isn’t interested. The few times we have done it, have been fulfilling, but for a different reason. It’s always fun to have the novelty of sleeping with a new body and Sarah enjoys seeing me with another woman, but as I say it’s more complicated.
For me the pleasure is tied up with enjoying Sarah’s sexuality so much, I love seeing her having a great time and witnessing how excited other men are when they see her, it makes me proud. I also have a voyeuristic streak. I’ve enjoyed watching porn from when I was a teenager and this is real life porn starring the woman I love. Sarah isn’t as voyeuristic – I don’t think women are generally.

It’s not an every day occurrence, but we’ve ended up doing it three or four times a year for the past nine years. It’s invariably exciting – as it’s always different because the man is always new. So you never know quite what’s going to happen, we never see the same person twice. I’m absolutely straight – though I do enjoy witnessing another man having pleasure. Many couples who do this have rules, such as not kissing, but we don’t – we like to go with the flow.
It’s not something we talk about with our friends. I did confide in one mate and he couldn’t get his head round it – I think he pitied me and worried that Sarah didn’t find me enough. That’s far from the truth. The only reason we can risk experimenting is because our sex life is phenomenal in its own right. The danger is when you do it because you sex life is lacklustre and you’re both seeking fulfilment elsewhere.
Some of my friends are having affairs and will tell me about it. They seem proud of sneaking around and ‘having their cake and eating it’. I find it depressing. My relationship is with my wife and very fulfilling.
There’s one thing I would never let her do and that is to get with another man without me being there. Sarah and I would never play around without each other – that’s not our thing, though I know some couples do and that’s fine too, you have to do what works for both of you.
I never worry that she’ll have more pleasure with someone else, or care if they’re more well endowed than me. Most men are roughly the same size anyway!
Our relationship is very honest. We don’t have children, we’re financially independent of each other, we don’t need to be together. We want to be.
I think men and women are often threatened by each other’s sexuality because they fear it will lead to them being left. I have no such fears, so I can relish being with a woman who enjoys sex as much as I do and has no hang ups about showing it.

IMAGES: Imago