[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-post-title” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”|600|||||||” header_text_align=”center” header_text_color=”#dd1881″ header_font_size=”44px” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”intro-wrap” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Abel||||||||” text_font_size=”18px” text_orientation=”center” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
While Polly Reeves* loves her two teenage children she controversially admits that getting pregnant opened \u2018a doorway to hell\u2019<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/09\/GettyImages-2158964161.jpg” title_text=”Happy mature woman standing with her teenage kids on the terrace, visiting old town at the seaside” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Teenagers… fine in small doses!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Picking up the phone I barely suppress my sigh of irritation as I hear my daughter Janey, 15, at the other end asking me for a lift. It\u2019s raining and she doesn\u2019t want to get wet. I\u2019ve already had to clear her room of all the mugs and plates plastered with caked-on food, and I\u2019m sure she\u2019ll soon be up in arms because her favourite top isn\u2019t washed \u2013 despite the fact that I\u2019ve told her she\u2019s old enough to do her own laundry now.
Meanwhile my 17-year-old son, Freddy, who\u2019s away with the boys, texted me earlier with a request for more money as he lived it up on holiday in Portugal. Not to mention the stress I feel that he\u2019ll get too drunk and forget my instruction not to swim after a boozy session.\u00a0
That\u2019s just a typical day of motherhood \u2013 when you\u2019re cook, cleaner, skivvy and piggy bank. Frankly it\u2019s a thankless task and one I never really wanted.\u00a0<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/09\/GettyImages-1348239231.jpg” title_text=”Teenagers messy room” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
There’s only one way to end this nightmare – switch off the wifi and watch them pack their bags!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”||0px|||” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
I wasn\u2019t one of those young girls who dreamt of getting married and being a mum. I wanted to travel the world and enjoy my career in PR.\u00a0
But then I met George at a party, we fell in love and got married in 2001. We were on holiday in 2002 when I realised I\u2019d missed a period and the test confirmed the worst \u2013 I was pregnant.\u00a0
Our holiday had been wonderful and I felt as though I\u2019d opened a doorway to hell by getting pregnant \u2013 I\u2019d had a bug so my contraceptive pill had failed.\u00a0
It didn\u2019t feel right to have a termination, we were married and could cope financially. I felt we just had to step up and I presumed that just because I couldn\u2019t hear my biological clock ticking it would kick in eventually.\u00a0
But I hated every moment of being pregnant, I felt sick constantly and put on 5st in my efforts to eat away the nausea. My labour was horrendous and ended with an emergency c-section.\u00a0
Having said that as soon as I laid eyes on my son I fell in love with him, completely and utterly. But he didn\u2019t sleep for three years and I was absolutely shattered.\u00a0
Despite this, two years later I got pregnant again \u2013 this time deliberately. I was an only child and had always wanted a sibling, so I did it for Freddy. That\u2019s the thing with motherhood, you sacrifice so much of yourself for your children. I actually had another child to make the first one happier, not because I wanted one. Though there was an element of \u2018in for a penny, in for a pound\u2019.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/09\/GettyImages-1551930949.jpg” title_text=”Welcome Little One!” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
It starts so beautifully. Then, bang, 15 years later you dream of the day they’ll move out!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
I remember when Freddy was born, the midwives and nurses didn\u2019t call me \u2018Polly\u2019 but \u2018mum\u2019. That\u2019s what it\u2019s like, your identity completely changes.\u00a0
\u00a0Those early years were tough. Nothing compares to the relentlessness of a crying baby, sleeping nights and toddler tantrums. My career went on the backburner while my husband\u2019s thrived. I felt resentful and angry despite it being the most sensible way to manage the financial demands of family life.\u00a0
I wasn\u2019t one of those mums that was full of awe for any new tooth or word. Playgroups bored me and I\u2019d count down the hours until it was bedtime and I could unwind with a glass of wine and my television programmes rather than Peppa Pig on a loop.\u00a0
My resentment and the stress contributed to the end of my marriage in 2012, though it\u2019s simplistic to say the children were entirely to blame.\u00a0<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/09\/GettyImages-1434791856.jpg” title_text=”Frustrated mother helping frustrated son with some very difficult homework” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” min_height=”28.8px” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”3px|8px|3px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Helping the kids with their homework often feels akin to pulling your fingernails out with a pair of pliers.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
In a strange way being a single mum was easier, at least I didn\u2019t feel resentful when my husband worked late or disappeared on a golfing trip. I knew where I was.
But the sheer monotony of the school run, helping with homework then fighting to get them to bed on time blighted the next few years. I\u2019m tied down to routines, any travelling is confined to the school holidays, I particularly resented swapping backpacking round exotic places for hotels with easy access to water parks. Now that they\u2019re teens thankfully that particular form of hell is over. But of course it comes with teenage hormones and moodiness.
And there are of course moments of sheer joy. It probably sounds as though I don\u2019t love them, I do. I absolutely adore them, I would do anything for them and I desperately want them to be happy. But with that comes so much worry. I remember Freddy breaking his leg and being in agony and I would have done anything to be the one in pain. Another time Janey was being bullied and I\u2019ve never felt such rage as I did towards the girls that were bullying her.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/09\/GettyImages-530538070.jpg” title_text=”Portrait of a woman smiling with her children” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
That rare 20 seconds when the kids are friendly and in a good mood feels like gold dust…\u00a0<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
That\u2019s the thing with motherhood \u2013 it\u2019s an emotional roller coaster and everything matters so much more. You can\u2019t feel truly happy unless they are. And it\u2019s rare that both are content at the same time.\u00a0
Sometimes I think I\u2019d like to put my kids in the deep freeze for a while so I can re energise and regain my equilibrium.\u00a0
But mostly I wish I\u2019d never had them at all \u2013 I might not have felt such incredible love, but I wouldn\u2019t have had the lows either. And after all you can\u2019t miss what you\u2019ve never had. I loved my previous life and think I\u2019d have been perfectly happy carrying on with it.\u00a0
I don\u2019t think enough women talk about just how tough motherhood is and we don\u2019t normalise choosing to be child free enough. Having children is a life-long commitment. But you only find out definitively that it isn\u2019t for you once you\u2019ve had them \u2013 you can\u2019t put them back!\u00a0<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-texts” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Aboreto|||on|||||” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
PHOTOS: GETTY<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ module_class=”flatplan-readmore” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#111111″ custom_padding=”35px||35px||true|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”85%” custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_3_text_color=”#FFFFFF” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_4,3_4″ module_class=”read-more-item” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”85%” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2023\/07\/Thumbnailtgqq.jpg” title_text=”Thumbnailtgqq” module_class=”read-more-thumbnail” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”read-more-headline” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|700|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” text_font_size=”16px” link_option_url=”https:\/\/apple.news\/ABgCYwvfNTKq0ormaQsj7Kw ” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n Meghan and Harry\u2019s last resort ‘therapy’<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_4,3_4″ module_class=”read-more-item” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”85%” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2023\/07\/bwbnewn.jpg” title_text=”bwbnewn” module_class=”read-more-thumbnail” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”read-more-headline” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|700|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” text_font_size=”16px” link_option_url=”https:\/\/apple.news\/A0bBtVJeIRiSYmqM4nlVh6g” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n The sexy secrets behind Sofia Vergara\u2019s dirty divorce<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" While Polly Reeves* loves her two teenage children she controversially admits that getting pregnant opened \u2018a doorway to hell\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":3610,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[14,12,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3608","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-family","category-lifestyle","category-real-life"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"closermag","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3608","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3608"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3608\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3620,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3608\/revisions\/3620"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3610"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3608"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3608"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3608"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Read more from Closer<\/h3>\n