[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-post-title” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”|600|||||||” header_text_align=”center” header_text_color=”#dd1881″ header_font_size=”44px” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
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Closer speaks to a flight attendant who\u2019s been in the job for 20 years. What she\u2019s witnessed will put you off eating airline bread rolls for life – and seriously question the wisdom of marrying a long-haul pilot \u2026<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/11\/GettyImages-174746859-e1731421685447.jpg” title_text=”Young Woman Portrait” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
Please fasten your seatbelts – we’re experiencing severe turbulence in the cockpit!<\/p>\n
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When I tell anyone what I do for work, one of the first questions they ask is \u2018have you joined the mile high club\u2019. The answer \u2013 surprisingly is \u2018no\u2019.
There are two reasons. The toilets are often filthy, I barely like to use them for the reasons intended, let alone get hot and heavy in them. And my other option, getting into bed with a pilot while he\u2019s on his \u2018rest period\u2019 on a long flight is well nigh impossible. The bunks they sleep in are tiny, so small you can barely fit one person in it to sleep, let alone two of us for some bedroom athletics.
But that\u2019s not to say a lot of mile high action doesn\u2019t happen \u2013 we see it with passengers all the time. I tend to turn a blind eye, after all they\u2019re not doing any harm.
And don\u2019t feel sorry for me \u2013 I\u2019ve had a lot of fun. Though not as much as one of\u00a0 my friends who used to regularly have oral sex with one of the pilots in the cockpit while he was \u2018flying\u2019.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/11\/GettyImages-117847566.jpg” title_text=”Pilot at control of jet aeroplane” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
Ooh, looks like someone’s got hold of the Captain’s joystick again – prepare for maximum thrust<\/p>\n
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This career is the perfect set up to enjoy a hedonistic lifestyle. \u00a0I\u2019ve had flings with five pilots in my career so far. \u00a0But I\u2019d never settle down with one. While I\u2019m sure they exist, I\u2019ve never known a faithful pilot on long haul flights. They have the perfect alibi because they really are away for work.
And it\u2019s often sunny, add in booze and a swimming pool or hot tub and you feel like you\u2019re on holiday and ripe for a fling.
They will have sex with cabin crew, local women and even using escorts isn\u2019t uncommon. Some of them have girlfriends who they take on the flight with them \u2013 but it can go horribly wrong. I was once on a flight to the Caribbean when a pilot had bought his girlfriend along and she was sitting in first class. Unbeknown to him his wife had decided to come on the flight to surprise him and was sitting in economy. He made an announcement that he had a special passenger on board \u2013 his girlfriend. It was horrendous, his wife marched to the cockpit. I couldn\u2019t hang around to see what happened but I found out later his poor wife had got on the next flight home.
And it\u2019s not just pilots. A female cabin crew friend of mine once bought her boyfriend out on a trip with a stopover in Barbados. He ended up having sex with another of the cabin crew. That flight back wasn\u2019t much fun with both of them ignoring each other. Neither of them ended up with him and the last I heard he\u2019d emigrated to Australia!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/11\/GettyImages-1223858050.jpg” title_text=”Photo of three confident flight attendants standing against airplane in airport” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
They look like butter wouldn’t melt – but at 33,000ft they’re absolutely filthy!<\/p>\n
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Whether married or single there\u2019s often threesomes or even foursomes when we\u2019re on layovers, with the action starting in the hot tub. I know of two male pilots and two female cabin crew members who regularly hook up if they\u2019re on the same schedule.
They\u2019re all remarkably laid back about it \u2013 the first time I was told what went on I tried to look for clues on the flight back that the two women had been intimate, there was nothing!
However I have known there to be repercussions when a relationship has ended and the dumped person has filed a report saying they believe their ex was drinking too much as revenge, which has got them into serious trouble. And the thing is it\u2019s often true.
Sometimes the drinking on stop overs starts on the bus on the way back from the airport to the hotel \u2013 which is invariably five or four star with a pool – with some bottles that we\u2019ve taken from the plane! Lots of cabin crew regularly take goodies at the end of the flight, the haul from first class often includes caviar and champagne.
The boozing would often carry on into the early hours of the morning and carry on for days if we had a long stop over. It depends on the route but in South Africa we sometimes had five days off so it\u2019s a favourite one.
Pilots are supposed to stop drinking 24 hours before they fly. But I\u2019ve seen some of them paralytic the night before, needing to be helped to bed. There are spot checks though so they\u2019re playing with fire.
Some pilots will insist on doing the second flying shift on the plane so they can sleep off the boozy nights out. But I\u2019ve known pilots and cabin crew to use passenger oxygen to help with their hangovers \u2013 I can vouch for it working!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/11\/GettyImages-873818622.jpg” title_text=”Friends relaxing in a luxury hot tub outdoors at sunset” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” min_height=”28.8px” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”3px|8px|3px|8px|true|true” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
Bing bong: This is a final call for the cabin crew. We’re about to take off – WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?<\/p>\n
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I\u2019ve had flights where I\u2019ve fallen asleep standing up at the back of the plane as I\u2019m so exhausted from all the partying. And one where I was throwing up between serving drinks and food as I\u2019d hit the bottle the night before.
My top tip for passengers is \u2018Always smile at the cabin crew\u2019. If you\u2019re obnoxious we will seek revenge. Your bread roll is a target, I\u2019ve wiped one round the toilet rim before when a passenger was particularly rude, complaining that he\u2019d waited too long for his drink and I was there to look after him. I am, but there are hundreds of other passengers on board too! And I\u2019m definitely not alone in doing this.
The flip side is if you\u2019re good looking and charming, I\u2019ll write my number on the serviette and then pass him the drink \u2013 it\u2019s worked out a couple of times!
Once though I was really embarrassed. There was a really handsome man in first class who I\u2019d been looking after. When he left the plane, walking past me and said thank you, I absent mindedly leant in for a kiss! He was not impressed!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/11\/GettyImages-1357625030.jpg” title_text=”Joyful stewardess rolling airline meal trolley through aisle” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
‘Enjoy your bread roll, sir – it’s going to taste like a pub urinal!’<\/p>\n
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And my last confession is that I know some airlines just do a very cursory clean of the whole cabin \u2013 particularly on short haul flights. So bring your anti-bacterial wipes.
I\u2019d never walk barefoot in a cabin, I\u2019ve seen what has been on the floor \u2013 everything from vomit to poo and you aren\u2019t going to get that completely out of a carpet.
Even sleeping in a first-class bed makes me cringe \u2013 imagining everything that\u2019s gone on in there before!<\/p>\n
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PHOTOS: GETTY<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Closer speaks to a flight attendant who\u2019s been in the job for 20 years. What she\u2019s witnessed will put you off eating airline bread rolls for life – and seriously question the wisdom of marrying a long-haul pilot \u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":3946,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[10,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3958","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-entertainment","category-real-life"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"closermag","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3958","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3958"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3958\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3961,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3958\/revisions\/3961"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3946"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3958"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3958"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3958"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}