[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-post-title” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”|600|||||||” header_text_align=”center” header_text_color=”#dd1881″ header_font_size=”44px” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”intro-wrap” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Abel||||||||” text_font_size=”18px” text_orientation=”center” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
When younger men began hitting on Amanda York, 50, she thought she’d struck dating gold – so why did it feel so wrong?<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/12\/IMG_6390-e1734710091816.jpg” title_text=”IMG_6390″ force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Amanda thought toyboys were fit, hot and fun… but the novelty was short-lived!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
My mum was visiting my new flat when someone shouted my name from outside.
\u2018Not right now!\u2019 I called through the open window.
\u2018Who\u2019s that?\u2019 asked Mum.
\u2018Oh, just a friend,\u2019 I replied.
In fact, it was my boyfriend Stuart. But there was a reason I was keeping him secret from Mum.
At just 22, Stuart was 14 years younger than me and I thought that might shock her.
To be honest, I still wasn\u2019t sure how I felt about dating a much younger man. In my 20s, I\u2019d gone the other way, dating fellas older than me.
I\u2019d loved the idea that they were reining in my wild side and keeping me in check.
But as I got older, I felt the men I was going for wanted me to be as obsessed with settling down, getting a mortgage and paying into the pensions as they were. But I still just wanted to have fun
Then Stuart had come up to me at the gym and we\u2019d hit it off.
At first, I was worried about the age gap, but then I thought: He\u2019s just so fit, hot and fun!
So now, while most of my friends from home were following the classic blueprint of moving in with their partners and having kids, I was having lots of fun with a much younger man!
But still, I wasn\u2019t ready for Mum to know about the age gap.
When our friends at the gym found out, they didn\u2019t seem shocked and I introduced Stuart to my flatmates too.
Things were going well until one day, he popped over clutching a bin bag stuffed full of clothes.
\u2018Do you mind washing these for me?\u2019 he asked.
\u2018Certainly not, I\u2019m not your mother,\u2019 I replied.
I sent him \u2014 and his bag of smelly laundry \u2014 home.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/12\/With-younger-man2.jpg” title_text=”With younger man2″ force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Stuart’s smelly laundry demands were the beginning of the end<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”||0px|||” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
His insatiable desire to be out partying began to exhaust me too.
Late one evening, I was about to get ready for bed when he said: \u2018Come on! The night\u2019s still young, let\u2019s have a few drinks and keep going!\u2019
\u2018I\u2019ve got to be up at five tomorrow for work,\u2019 I said, sleepily. \u2018Time for bed.\u2019
But, like a kid pestering for a toy, he wouldn\u2019t let it go and the argument escalated.
Grabbing all his stuff, I opened the window and tossed it out.
Stuart ran outside and as he gathered it up, he called up to me: \u2018I can\u2019t find my other shoe.\u2019
\u2018You\u2019ll have to go home without it!\u2019 I said, shrugging. \u00a0
But while it hadn\u2019t worked out with Stuart, it hadn\u2019t put me off younger men.
As I uploaded my profile to a dating site, I slid the lower age range down to 25 and soon I\u2019d matched with a 25-year-old sexy Australian guy called Michael.
But while he could match my libido in the bedroom, I found it was always me organising our dates and clearing up after him when he came to mine.
When I caught him distractedly watching porn on his phone on a date to the cinema to see Moulin Rouge, I walked out without a word and never contacted him again.
I began to question why I kept trying to date younger men. But as I hit my mid-40s, I met James at a singles night. He was only six years younger than me and we clicked instantly. Our sexual chemistry was intense too.
By now, I was working for a hotel gym and we\u2019d spend weekends on discounted luxury stays away. His nickname for me was \u2018Minx\u2019.
As our relationship progressed, I thought I\u2019d finally hit on the perfect age gap. Someone who matched my energy in the bedroom, but who might also enjoy a night in now and again.
For the first time in my life, I began to see myself settling down with him.
One day, we were on a romantic walk, when I found myself blurting out: \u2018Let\u2019s have a baby!\u2019
A look of shock flickered across his face.
\u2018We\u2019re fine just the two of us,\u2019 he said.
We continued our walk in an uncomfortable silence and I could tell he was angry with me for ruining the morning.
His reaction had left me heartbroken and while I tried to push my feelings aside, something had changed between us.
I was going to work in Switzerland for a few weeks and on the morning I left, James started an argument.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/12\/in-switzerland.jpg” title_text=”in switzerland” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
A trip to Switzerland gave Amanda space to think – and vow to steer clear of flaky toyboys<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
We parted on bad terms, so I decided not to message him while I was away.
It gave me time to think and I realised I\u2019d forgotten who I was.
When I flew back, I called James from the airport and said: \u2018I\u2019m sorry, I think we need to break up.\u2019
He started insulting me down the phone, calling me stupid, so I hung up.
Afterwards, I sank into a depression about wasting my fertile years with an angry younger man who it turned out didn\u2019t want a child with me.
\u2018I just don\u2019t know what social media has done to the younger generation of men,\u2019 I complained to a friend.
\u2018You\u2019re right,\u2019 she said. \u2018They\u2019re so flaky now.\u2019
\u2018They think older women are silly enough to put up with anything,\u2019 I replied.
Over the next years, I swore off dating, focusing on my career as a yoga teacher instead. I wanted to get my finances in shape so that I might be in a position to foster a child instead.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/12\/70167885_2401573659880557_365851116774096896_o.jpg” title_text=”70167885_2401573659880557_365851116774096896_o” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” min_height=”28.8px” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”3px|8px|3px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Yoga teacher Amanda decided the only lunges she’d be making were towards older men…<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Then finally, once I felt happy in myself again, I felt ready to date again. This time, on the dating app, I set the age range at 45 to 55.
Soon, I\u2019d arranged to meet up with a 52-year-old man and while there weren\u2019t any fireworks between us, I was impressed by his quiet self-assurance, silver fox looks and his old-fashioned manners.
As I turned 50, I sat down with a pen and paper.
I\u2019m going to make a list of all the pros and cons of dating an older man, I decided.
The positives flowed easily from my pen and it confirmed to me that I\u2019d never go back to dating immature younger men who didn\u2019t know how to treat a woman.
I\u2019m now in perimenopause and I\u2019ve had to accept I\u2019ll never have a baby of my own after wasting my time with the wrong men.
A short course of therapy has helped me make my peace with that, but still I feel like a cautionary tale \u2014 how not to have a family.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2024\/12\/Amanda-York.jpeg” title_text=”Amanda York” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Like toyboys, dogs can be over-excitable and a bit annoying – but dogs are much cuter!\u00a0<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
However, I know I could be an amazing foster mum and that\u2019s my focus now.
I also haven\u2019t lost hope of finding love. While I like my simple life, and I\u2019m not aggressively chasing a relationship, it would be great to meet someone to share things with.
I know other women may have been envious of my gorgeous twentysomething boyfriends, but if they knew the truth, they\u2019d think again.
I might have dabbled with dating a trio of toyboys. But from now on, I\u2019m all about the silver foxes!
\u2022 All names have been changed except Amanda\u2019s.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-texts” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Aboreto|||on|||||” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
PHOTOS: GETTY<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ module_class=”flatplan-readmore” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#111111″ custom_padding=”35px||35px||true|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”85%” custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_3_text_color=”#FFFFFF” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_4,3_4″ module_class=”read-more-item” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”85%” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2023\/07\/Thumbnailtgqq.jpg” title_text=”Thumbnailtgqq” module_class=”read-more-thumbnail” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”read-more-headline” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|700|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” text_font_size=”16px” link_option_url=”https:\/\/apple.news\/ABgCYwvfNTKq0ormaQsj7Kw ” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n Meghan and Harry\u2019s last resort ‘therapy’<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_4,3_4″ module_class=”read-more-item” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”85%” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2023\/07\/bwbnewn.jpg” title_text=”bwbnewn” module_class=”read-more-thumbnail” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”read-more-headline” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|700|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” text_font_size=”16px” link_option_url=”https:\/\/apple.news\/A0bBtVJeIRiSYmqM4nlVh6g” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n The sexy secrets behind Sofia Vergara\u2019s dirty divorce<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When younger men began hitting on Amanda York, 50, she thought she’d struck dating gold – so why did it feel so wrong? <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":4231,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4229","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-real-life"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"closermag","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4229","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4229"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4229\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4238,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4229\/revisions\/4238"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4231"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4229"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4229"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4229"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Read more from Closer<\/h3>\n