[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-post-title” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”|600|||||||” header_text_align=”center” header_text_color=”#dd1881″ header_font_size=”44px” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”intro-wrap” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Abel||||||||” text_font_size=”18px” text_orientation=”center” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
These kinky tales are definitely not safe for work<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/04\/imago386478784-1-scaled.jpg” alt=”Pamela Anderson” title_text=”Sex Polygamy love. Handsome man with girls in bathroom. Sexual guy in bath. Strong muscular man posi” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”19px||16px||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
The more the merrier?<\/p>\n
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Many people would agree that some sexual fantasies should be exactly that \u2013 fantasies. Because sometimes when hot and heavy dreams come true, the result can be a nightmare. Be warned, the following stories involve some very explicit scenarios\u2026<\/p>\n
One poster on the social media site Reddit told a hilarious tale involving Ben Wa balls, sometimes called Kegel or love balls. She decided to insert the sex toys when out clubbing with her boyfriend \u201cso they\u2019d get me all turned on and then surprise him with my newfound kinkiness when we went home\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cThankfully I decided to test-run those suckers beforehand because either I did something wrong, or I have a coochie like a bear trap. They went in just fine, felt pretty nice when I walked around, but I\u00a0could not get them out. I tried everything – including a plastic spoon and a syringe full of lube. Nada.\u201d<\/p>\n
She called a medical hotline for advice, explaining that a very amused nurse fired off suggestions including the alarming \u201cuse suction from your vacuum hose!\u201d Nope. Still stuck. It\u2019s now been 10 hours. Finally, the nurse suggested she get her boyfriend over to help, asking, \u201cDoes he have long fingers?\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo yeah I called my boyfriend to come fish sex toys out of my vageen at 2am. But as he\u2019s driving over one of the phone-nurses suggests I sumo-squat and hop down the stairs one at a time. Shockingly, this actually worked!! The horrible balls of embarrassment came plinking out onto my hardwood stairs…just as my boyfriend walks in, and witnesses me crouched in a birthing position, naked from the waist-down, covered in lube, crying, and these glass balls rolling noisily down the stairs into my living room.\u201d<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/04\/imago733020023-2-scaled.jpg” alt=”Pamela Anderson” title_text=”Collection of different types pink of sex toys on pink background.” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” admin_label=”Text” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Be warned, toys aren’t always fun<\/p>\n
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Then there\u2019s this man who was excited to try something that was top of his sex wish list \u2013 anal, with disastrous results. \u201cMy wife had a blowout during anal. Apparently, she read somewhere to take a few laxatives beforehand to clean out. She did…all over me. She told me later that she felt so clean that when she farted it would whistle.\u201d<\/p>\n
Remembering a disastrous experience with a high school girlfriend another Redditor confessed, \u201cI read in a book that sex in the tub filled with milk and honey would enhance the sexual experience. I somehow managed to talk my girlfriend into it. We pool our money together and buy 10 gallons of milk and a squeezy bear-shaped bottle of honey. We also steal some milk cartons from the cafeteria, as well as some [sachets] of honey. It’s D day. Microwaving milk while adding honey was like a 3-hour job. Whenever we poured one jug in, by the time we did another the first one would get cold and honey would settle on the bottom of the tub. We give up and pour everything in and start adding hot water. Well bath is half full and it looks like it’s time to reach sexual enlightenment.\u201d<\/p>\n
They climbed in but the mixture was stinky, sticky and cold. They had hurried, unsatisfying sex then desperately try to clean up. \u201cDrain gets clogged, we can’t get the honey off quick enough, my dad is pulling into the driveway and it’s a total disaster. Few weeks later I get a urinary tract infection. She develops yeast infection and a UTI as well. Also, since I spent all my money on supplies that means no lunches and visiting her for the rest of the month. The smell of boiled milk [still] gets me aroused yet my Johnson starts aching.<\/p>\n
This one\u2019s a classic fantasy which turned pretty scary, pretty quick: \u201cRented a hotel room with a hot tub and mirrors on the ceiling,\u201d the poster shared. \u201cDiscovered a false ceiling and a camera attached to the mirror, which was a one-way mirror \u2013 AFTER the festivities were over. Realized that all the complimentary porn was filmed in a room that was suspiciously identical to the one we were in. Did not call cops because\u2026 late 80s.\u201d<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/04\/imago376808135-copy-scaled.jpeg” alt=”Pamela Anderson in Baywatch” title_text=”Bdsm and domination. Handcuffs. Sexy woman butt in handcuffs. Backside handcuffs. Sexy buttocks, wom” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Careful you don’t find yourself locked into a compromising situation\u00a0<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
One Redditor regaled readers with this side-splitting story. Be warned it\u2019s graphic and definitely Not Safe For Work! \u201cThe fantasy in this scenario was having my face sat on\u201d, he begins. \u201cWe\u2019re both drunk, she\u2019s sitting on my face. We have a safe word, \u201coranges\u201d. Everything\u2019s great for a while\u2026I\u2019d just been lifting her off of my face to grab breaths here and there, but I hadn\u2019t been paying attention: her legs were now under my shoulders. Effectively allowing her to pin my face into her crotch.<\/p>\n
What he didn\u2019t bargain for was \u201cthe length of her orgasm and the velocity of her squirt. Also, the squirt shot straight into my sinuses.\u201d He kept waiting for her to finish but \u201cshe just. kept. Going. It doesn\u2019t occur to her that I need to breathe. In reality, we\u2019re maybe 20-25 seconds in when this happens, but in my mind we\u2019re about five minutes in and I\u2019m going to die. Plus, I\u2019m drowning.\u201d Then he remembers the safe word oranges and tries to say it. But there\u2019s loud music playing and, \u201cYou need air to say stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n
So, \u201cafter mumbling, then saying, then shouting, \u2018oranges\u2019 into a woman\u2019s vagina a few times, panic starts to set in. I\u2019d now actually hit the part where you freak out while underwater in the pool. In a last-ditch effort, I planted my feet on the bed, put my hands against the headboard and pushed myself out from under her vagina. After a wheezing\/coughing fit, I blew female ejaculate out of my nose, and she erupted into laughter. After that, we came up with an \u2018I need air\u2019 Morse code signal. Yes, if I had to choose how to die, this would still be how.\u201d<\/p>\n
We\u2019ll leave you with this one: \u201cTwo hot sisters at the same time. I got both of them pregnant. Best night of my life followed by the craziest six years since.\u201d<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-texts” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Aboreto|||on|||||” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
PHOTOS: IMAGO, GETTY. ALL PICS POSED BY MODELS<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ module_class=”flatplan-readmore” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#111111″ custom_padding=”35px||35px||true|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”85%” custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_3_text_color=”#FFFFFF” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_4,3_4″ module_class=”read-more-item” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”85%” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2023\/07\/Thumbnailtgqq.jpg” title_text=”Thumbnailtgqq” module_class=”read-more-thumbnail” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”read-more-headline” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|700|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” text_font_size=”16px” link_option_url=”https:\/\/apple.news\/ABgCYwvfNTKq0ormaQsj7Kw ” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n Meghan and Harry\u2019s last resort ‘therapy’<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_4,3_4″ module_class=”read-more-item” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”85%” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2023\/07\/bwbnewn.jpg” title_text=”bwbnewn” module_class=”read-more-thumbnail” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”read-more-headline” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|700|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” text_font_size=”16px” link_option_url=”https:\/\/apple.news\/A0bBtVJeIRiSYmqM4nlVh6g” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n The sexy secrets behind Sofia Vergara\u2019s dirty divorce<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Many people would agree that some sexual fantasies should be exactly that \u2013 fantasies. Because sometimes when hot and heavy dreams come true, the result can be a nightmare. Be warned, the following stories involve some very explicit scenarios\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5000","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lifestyle"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"closermag","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5000","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5000"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5000\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5011,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5000\/revisions\/5011"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5000"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5000"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5000"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Read more from Closer<\/h3>\n