{"id":6183,"date":"2025-08-11T18:30:00","date_gmt":"2025-08-11T18:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/?p=6183"},"modified":"2025-08-05T09:01:05","modified_gmt":"2025-08-05T09:01:05","slug":"people-are-sharing-their-most-embarrassing-sex-mishaps-and-were-shocked","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/2025\/08\/11\/people-are-sharing-their-most-embarrassing-sex-mishaps-and-were-shocked\/","title":{"rendered":"People are sharing their most embarrassing sex mishaps \u2014\u00a0and we’re shocked"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-post-title” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”|600|||||||” header_text_align=”center” header_text_color=”#dd1881″ header_font_size=”44px” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]

People are sharing their most embarrassing sex mishaps \u2014\u00a0and we’re shocked<\/h1>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”intro-wrap” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Abel||||||||” text_font_size=”18px” text_orientation=”center” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

Prepare to clench your legs together and grimace as we present these hair-raising stories of the most outrageous things ever to enter the human body.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/07\/GettyImages-90670885-scaled-e1752592832295.jpg” title_text=”Girl Yawning” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

Ahh, so that’s<\/span> the reason shampoo bottles are always shaped like that. Cheap dildos!<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

Get any ER doctor drunk at a party and you\u2019re almost guaranteed to get their sleaziest stories of the bizarre things they\u2019ve seen during their careers.
And it\u2019s an absolute certainty that top of their list will be the outrageous items that people have stuffed into their orifices or onto their peen in a desperate bid for sexual pleasure.
But that vacuum cleaner really wasn\u2019t designed to give head; and that bottle – phallic-shaped as it is \u2013 really wasn\u2019t designed as a dildo. Anyone making a dildo out of glass is asking for trouble \u2013 and internal stitches!
So, in a bid to shine a light on this, er, fascinating side of human behavioural science (and obviously not just sordid filth for you to laugh\/gasp at) we bring you the very best anecdotes from brave medics – as well as confessions from those adventurous souls who\u2019ve pushed the boundaries of good taste and proved that necessity really is the mother of invention when it comes to getting off!<\/p>\n

COUCH POTATO<\/strong>
New York-based plastic surgeon Joshua Zuckerman fondly remembers some of the most surprising things he had to dislodge from upset rectums. ‘While I was a general surgery resident, I encountered some ‘unique’ objects lodged in the rectum \u2013 in medical speak, “rectal foreign bodies,” he explained. ‘In one case, we had to surgically remove a pink softball from someone’s rectum, and in another case, a significantly-sized potato.’<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/07\/GettyImages-583865362.jpg” title_text=”Toy Tractor Hauling Giant Potato” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

That really is a significantly-sized potato – it’s almost as big as a tractor! How did it fit?<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

RINGS A BELL(END)<\/strong>
Robert Hartman, a urology specialist in Illinois, treated a man in his 60s who had a wedding ring stuck on his penis. He\u2019d been suffering erectile dysfunction and after doing some research online into \u2018cock rings\u2019 he reached for the nearest suitable solution.
‘None of the blood was able to go back into his body,’ explained Dr Hartman. ‘It all got trapped, and his penis was swollen and borderline necrotic.’ After the local fire brigade failed to help, Dr Hartman got hold of a power saw. What happened next sounds HORRIFIC.\u00a0 ‘As we were trying to remove the ring with the tool, it would glow bright orange, like molten,’ he said. ‘It looked just like the Lord of the Rings ring… but on a penis.’\u00a0 \u00a0Miraculously, Dr Hartman reported that the man fully recovered \u2013 and learned that Viagra was a safer idea.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/07\/GettyImages-1179581855.jpg” title_text=”Wedding rings are symbols of commitment, promise and loyalty” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

A wedding ring stuck on a penis? He either had very fat fingers – or a very petite peen…<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

WRONG TONG<\/strong>
For anyone wondering if those heated hair tongs could provide something more sexy than gorgeously straight and shiny locks, think again and listen up to this medic’s tale of woe.
\u2018I’m a nurse in an ER. One day a woman came waddling in with a set of tongs stuck between her legs. She used them to masturbate and inserted the tongs into her vagina. The clip that holds the tongs shut suddenly opened, and the tongs became hopelessly lodged into her vagina. She had to be taken to the operating room to have them surgically removed and nearly perforated her uterus.\u2019\u00a0 Blimey, that\u2019s enough to make your hair curl!<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/07\/GettyImages-2201677890.jpg” title_text=”A woman examining a hair straightener while her husband looks disapprovingly” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

Sandra’s hubby just knew her fun and games were going to end with a perforated uterus – again!<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

HELLO DOLLY!<\/strong>
Another nurse recounts her shock when an unsatisfied online shopper did himself a mischief with a tiny arm.
She said, \u2018The craziest thing was when a man came in with a Barbie doll’s arm stuck in his urethra (pee hole). Apparently, he\u2019d ordered a sex doll off eBay, but when it arrived it was actually a Barbie doll. He was so angry that he ripped off the doll’s arm and shoved it up his penis!\u2019 \u00a0This frightening scenario does beg the question: Had he never heard of a refund?<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/07\/GettyImages-583141820.jpg” title_text=”First Barbie” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

Poor Barbie. From a much-loved iconic toy to a one-armed sex toy… RIP<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

EXPECTO VAGINISIMUS!<\/strong>
Meanwhile, out there in the wonderful world of Reddit confessions, this lady reveals how her love of all things Harry Potter left her wondering if she could create some magic sensations in her naughty bits.
\u2018I used a model of (I think) Hermione\u2019s wand that I got at the Harry Potter store in London. I thought because of the design carved onto the wood it would feel good – but I ended up stabbing myself in the vag. Do not recommend!\u2019\u00a0 Sounds like a case of Abracadabr-AARRRGGH!<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/07\/GettyImages-1331133173-scaled.jpg” title_text=”Fairy tale wizard or witch’s wand” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

Great solo sex play should leave you huffing and puffing. Not hufflepuffing!\u00a0<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

HEAVY METAL<\/strong>
Turns out it\u2019s not just snowmen who have carrots forcibly shoved into their bodies \u2013 but this Reddit confession goes even deeper than that.
\u2018When I was first experimenting with anal, I went through quite a number of bad items. Always wrapped in a condom, though, because I\u2019m sanitary like that. The worst offenders were a carrot (too pointy dawg) and the metal handle of a whisk. Metal in the ass does not feel good, in my opinion. It really needs to have some give and bend to it, otherwise it gets uncomfortable very fast. Newbies, take it from me: 100% skip \u201cmaybe this household object will work\u201d phase and just buy a dildo.\u2019 \u00a0Wise words!<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/07\/GettyImages-135288655.jpg” title_text=”Wire whisk, common kitchen utensil” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

Here’s one way to whisk up the sensation of searing pain in your anus…<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

LOTHARIO IN A LATHER<\/strong>
We seem to have been focusing on things going up bums and va-jay-jays \u2013 so how about this tale of a chap who thought it might be fun to stick his peen somewhere he shouldn\u2019t?
\u2018I tried to stick my dick in a shampoo bottle. My head was too big so all it did was open the pee-hole and pour soap down my urethra. Worst pain I’ve ever been in. 2nd worst pain? Peeing after the burning stopped!\u2019 Bet those pubes were silky smooth, though!<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/07\/GettyImages-1764500433.jpg” title_text=”Woman pouring shampoo” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

Shampoo bottles: Not a brilliant substitute for the human vagina…<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

ICE ICE BABY<\/strong>
Meanwhile, for anyone looking for a novel way to survive the next heatwave, this Reddit user has the perfect solution.
\u2018I used a condom filled with water frozen made into an ice dildo, once I had my fun I inserted the whole thing and kept it inside until it melted, one of the best sexual feelings I’ve ever had.\u2019 This might just explain that look on Elsa\u2019s face in Frozen<\/em>\u2026<\/p>\n

So there we have it, a wonderful journey through the completely unsuitable – and in some cases completely unhealthy \u2013 objects used to bring sunshine into an otherwise dull world. We leave the final word to another Reddit user who seems to be able to sum up the entirety of this article in one short sentence. \u2018Everything is a dildo if you’re brave enough!\u2019<\/p>\n

By Andrew Hartley<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-texts” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Aboreto|||on|||||” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

PHOTOS: GETTY<\/strong><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ module_class=”flatplan-readmore” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” background_color=”#111111″ custom_padding=”35px||35px||true|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”85%” custom_margin=”||||false|false” custom_padding=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_3_text_color=”#FFFFFF” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

Read more from Closer<\/h3>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_4,3_4″ module_class=”read-more-item” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”85%” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2023\/07\/Thumbnailtgqq.jpg” title_text=”Thumbnailtgqq” module_class=”read-more-thumbnail” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”read-more-headline” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|700|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” text_font_size=”16px” link_option_url=”https:\/\/apple.news\/ABgCYwvfNTKq0ormaQsj7Kw ” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

Meghan and Harry\u2019s last resort ‘therapy’<\/strong><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_4,3_4″ module_class=”read-more-item” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” width=”85%” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”1_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2023\/07\/bwbnewn.jpg” title_text=”bwbnewn” module_class=”read-more-thumbnail” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”3_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”read-more-headline” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|700|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” text_font_size=”16px” link_option_url=”https:\/\/apple.news\/A0bBtVJeIRiSYmqM4nlVh6g” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]

The sexy secrets behind Sofia Vergara\u2019s dirty divorce<\/strong><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

People are sharing their most embarrassing sex mishaps \u2014\u00a0and we’re shockedPrepare to clench your legs together and grimace as we present these hair-raising stories of the most outrageous things ever to enter the human body.Ahh, so that’s the reason shampoo bottles are always shaped like that. Cheap dildos!Get any ER doctor drunk at a party […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":5981,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6183","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-lifestyle","category-real-life"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"closermag","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6183","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6183"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6183\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6188,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6183\/revisions\/6188"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5981"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6183"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6183"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6183"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}