[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-post-title” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”|600|||||||” header_text_align=”center” header_text_color=”#dd1881″ header_font_size=”44px” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”intro-wrap” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Abel||||||||” text_font_size=”18px” text_orientation=”center” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Men\u2019s health is all the rage these days \u2013 but this latest fad that has seen them reaching for handfuls of multi-vitamins is really, well, icky!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/08\/GettyImages-1296736815-e1755533489497.jpg” title_text=”Man Opening Jeans Zipper To Masturbate” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Brace yourself – when this thing goes off it could have someone’s eye out!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Isn\u2019t it great that men are taking better care of themselves? Long gone are the days of seeing them flopped out on a sofa, watching the football on TV, guzzling from cans of beer while delicately balancing a fully loaded ashtray on their bellies.
No, these days, you\u2019re more likely to find him in the gym, before heading home for a green smoothie and then switching on a mindfulness app.
However, there\u2019s a shocking new trend that\u2019s making waves in Manworld \u2013 and trust us, it\u2019s disgustingly weird!
Before we plunge headfirst into this mind-blowing topic, a little backgrounder might help you make sense of all this.
Remember, men are stupidly competitive. \u2018My soccer team is better than yours; my car is faster than yours; my salary is higher than yours\u2019 etc etc, you get the drill. (Presumably his drill is also bigger than yours!)
So it won\u2019t come as too much of a surprise that this over-competitive spirit has now reached his lower regions \u2013 but we\u2019re not talking dick length!
In the latest shock twist to being better than anyone else, men have now decided that ejaculation should become a competition.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/08\/GettyImages-77662033.jpg” title_text=”Two halfnaked young men standing at lake, holding water pistols” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
‘My pistol’s bigger than yours!’ ‘Yeh, but mine squirts further…’<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
That\u2019s right, you heard correctly. Step aside you mere dribblers. These days, you\u2019re only worthy if you can shoot your semen further, faster and \u2013 in another, even more icky descriptive f-word \u2013 fatter. We literally don\u2019t want you to type these words into your search bar but if you\u2019re prone to risk-taking and generally deranged then \u2018Shoot Fatter Ropes\u2019 will lead you into a world you never knew existed and will never be able to detox from your mind.
For the sensible ones among you who just want a sanitized version of events, it\u2019s this. Threads are popping up all over the place with men swapping tips on how to increase the amount of semen they spurt – and consistency is apparently ultra-important. Watery semen would be seen as a bit of a failure. <\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/08\/GettyImages-530872000.jpg” title_text=”Woman being sprayed with water on sailboat, Adriatic Sea” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Sorry fella, that’s too watery. Have you considered taking zinc supplements?\u00a0<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
What these cum connoisseurs are looking for is something that looks a bit like wallpaper paste (though helpfully the ingestion of pineapple juice should mean that it doesn\u2019t TASTE like wallpaper paste).
Having said that, shooting the equivalent of wallpaper paste from a penis across a distance of at least five feet isn\u2019t easy. So that\u2019s where kegels come in. That\u2019s right, men are now discussing pelvic floor exercises online. The world has gone MAD!
If you thought all that was bonkers then brace yourself, we\u2019re about to go balls deep! For those in the know \u2018cum stacks\u2019 are all the rage.
This involves posting pictures of what is basically entire medicine cabinets full of vitamin\/minerals etc known as \u2018the holy grail\u2019 and all said to boost the amount and the quality of a man’s jizz.<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/08\/Screenshot-2025-07-29-at-16.51.21.png” title_text=”Screenshot 2025-07-29 at 16.51.21″ force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”||||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
By swallowing this lot on a daily basis, you too can ejaculate two litres of ropey semen!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
It\u2019s not all expensive supplements though. At the heart of every man\u2019s cum stack should be a very large bag of Brazil nuts. Kinda makes sense that nuts are good for your nut, right?
This very excited Brazil nut eater reported on Reddit, \u2018I\u2019ve never been this horny since I was a teenager. It all started with the workout and escalated to teenager level horny with the Brazil nuts. However, my cum shots now are super watery. Does anyone else get that with Brazil nuts?\u2019 Oh no, watery Brazil nut semen, how disappointing.
Meanwhile, this \u2018Reddit Roper\u2019 sounds like he\u2019s aiming for a degree in Chemistry. \u2018I’ve always had massive balls (doc told me I’m in the 98th percentile for size) and multiple partners have told me I had the biggest loads they’ve seen, and now I’m committing to reaching my fullest potential. Stocked up on zinc and lecithin supplements, with selenium to be added to the mix later, and ordered some medicine syringes and graduated cylinders to measure and track my growth. Wish me luck!\u2019 Yeh, best of luck, Mr Big Balls!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/3\/2025\/08\/GettyImages-680035198.jpg” title_text=”Phallus in condom. Solitary sex, masturbation.” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-gallery-caption” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_text_color=”#FFFFFF” background_color=”#111111″ text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”-2.75%||||false|false” custom_padding=”4px|8px|4px|8px|true|true” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
No, lemons and bananas are NOT part of the holy grail. Best stick to nuts!<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ locked=”off” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Zinc supplements also feature heavily in many \u2018holy grail\u2019 stacks. But be warned, it can sometimes make things a bit too chunky as this young man explained on X. \u2018I\u2019m gonna pass on zinc. Last time I got sucked off, she had to chew before swallowing\u2019. Just, wow!
Of course, all of these miracle cures also have the potential to provide other health benefits \u2013 very often leading to improved skin tone – so the prospect of a jumbo jizz session isn\u2019t the only positive to be had here.
Many guys also report fewer coughs and colds as they pursue their sexual goals \u2013 though as this Roper explained on X, that might be down to the benefits of staying home while playing with yourself. \u2018The morale boost from shooting fatter ropes leads to an improved immune response and staying indoors shooting fat ropes mitigates viral exposure. So it does quite a lot to prevent colds.\u2019
And with that, we\u2019ll leave you with the thought of millions of men rarely leaving their apartments, swallowing handfuls of multi-vitamins while beating off in the hope of hitting the headboard with a power squirt of the thickest semen. Have a nice day!<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":6302,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[11,10,13],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6313","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-diet-and-body","category-entertainment","category-real-life"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"closermag","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6313","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6313"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6313\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6317,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6313\/revisions\/6317"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6302"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6313"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6313"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/closer\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6313"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}Read more from Closer<\/h3>\n