Congratulations to those of you who have not only bought your Christmas cards already – but actually written them, addressed them (correctly!), stamped them, and posted them. You done good.

Alas, you still haven’t done quite as well as the Waleses (read: their aides) who not only had the foresight to commission a photoshoot for their seasonal communiqué, but also to arrange for boy band-style almost-matching outfits and somehow to get Prince Louis to sit still for the occasion.

Nor can you compete with the Sussexes (read: their aides) who sent a digital card. Issued on behalf of their charitable foundation, theirs featured a pre-existing image of the couple beaming at the closing ceremony of the 2023 Invictus Games, and included a link to the annual Archewell Foundation impact report – like a more grandiose version of those unfortunately hilarious boastful round robin ‘newsletters’ that are, thankfully, going out of style.

You don’t have to stretch your imagination or analytical skills too far to see the cards as indicators of quite how far apart the two families now are in terms of MO; not just in regards to aesthetic (studio shoot vs candid) and messaging (the Sussexes’ non-denominational use of ‘holiday’ is a more American phrasing, for instance), but also in the content. Where George, Charlotte and Louis take centre stage on the Wales missive, Archie and Lilibet are absent from the Harry and Meghan’s. It marks two very different approaches to the family business and the business of family. In omitting their children from their card, the Sussexes do appear to be conceding to the privacy they vocally claim to desire; the ‘Thanks for all your support in 2023!’ skews a little defensively after all the reports of various cold-shoulderings Stateside.
(A quick side note: to the uninvested onlooker, neither card looks particularly festive. One reads a bit ‘casual Friday’, the other as a ‘thank you for coming to our wedding’. Perhaps they have more in common than they realise).

Still, perhaps this is all unfair and a card is simply a card. But why is it that we feel the temptation to read tactic and agenda into every move the royals make? For starters there is the fact that, famously apolitical (at least publicly), they have always communicated messages through subtleties – diplomatic dressing and seating plans and the most economical of speeches – details are a powerful currency for the royals.

Then we should acknowledge that although The Crown is now finished, the soap opera continues. Better than anything even the bitchiest showrunner could conjure up, barely an hour passes without some snub, slight or spat rearing its head. Your Christmas family rows? Well, at least you can reframe your own tantrums over the turkey as traditional.

Collectively, we are embroiled in the drama and dysfunctional dynamics. Many of us against our will. We didn’t ask to know all of this. Alas, regrettably it just seeps in, like intellectual damp.

What this means is that even if you’re not invested, you’re exposed. And since we are tribal beasts, that means picking sides. And picking sides, particularly when it is to do with people you don’t know and almost definitely never will, means projection. It requires scant fact and a liberal dose of opinion.

And if you ignore the fact that people – yes people with titles, but people with feelings too – are involved in all of this, it does make for entertaining fodder. But one of the least attractive and most tedious things about the House of Wales vs House of Sussex dialogue is that it often involves pitting woman against woman. Are you team Kate or team Meghan? Can’t ‘both’ or, honestly, ‘neither’ be an option, please?
So it proves to be with the cards, as many commented on Kate’s new ‘California cool’ and how much this does or doesn’t owe to her sister-in-law. An art directed black and white shot? It does have a certain type of Hollywood gloss, much more so than homespun, country casual cards of yore.

Aside from that, however, it’s a bit of a reach. Besides, any self-respecting Diana stan will tell you that jeans-and-white-shirt duo owes more to her than anyone else; the photos call to mind her iconic Mario Testino shots.

Has there been a loosening of Kate’s style in recent months and years? Without doubt. The recent looks have possessed a sleek glamour and a commanding chic. And sure, the head-to-toe white tailoring worn for her annual carol service might have looked a little like the winter white trousers and sweater Meghan wore to visit Justice for Girls in Vancouver last month, but do you honestly think the Princess of Wales chose an outfit based on sartorial decisions the Duchess of Sussex has made? No more than Meghan would have thought about Kate when putting on her putty Proenza Schouler gown for the Variety Power of Woman Gala.

Indeed, perhaps the gentle overlap in their wardrobe has less to do with feuding and more to do with growing in confidence. Both in their early forties, both navigating unimaginable fame, the more compelling argument is that most women settle into a style groove as they get older, wiser and (possibly) a bit richer.

Royalist or republican, wouldn’t it be nice to pause the women in competition narrative for a bit? Wouldn’t it be nice to allow a white shirt to simply be a white shirt and nowt more. All I want for Christmas is… A break from all that? Wishful thinking.