Have you ever found yourself in the smoking area of your local bar, four drinks in, asking the guy you’ve been flirting with all night if he’d let you peg him? I have, in fact I’m pretty sure it’s a universal female experience for 20somethings at this point – at least if the Gen Zs on TikTok are to be believed. In recent years, #pegging content has sky-rocketed on the app, thanks in large part to comedic references across pop culture (it’s popped up in Deadpool, And Just Like That and Broad City).

It’s not that we’re all pegging each other in droves these days, although some certainly are, but apparently asking a man whether or not he’s into pegging is the ultimate indicator of whether or not he’s ‘boyfriend material’. As in, his reaction will tell you a lot about how secure he is in his sexuality, his deepest desires, and how he views women who loudly proclaim their sexual agency without shame.

It has thus led to a lot of Googling around the sexual act. ‘What is pegging?’ is a breakout search term on Google term right now, as is ‘Do women like pegging?’ and somewhat concerningly, ‘Is pegging gay?’ (if you’re reading this with such concern, we can confirm that partaking in pegging has no bearing on a person’s sexuality – it’s just a sex act, big guy).

Given how much intrigue there is around pegging, we spoke to sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight, to get the lowdown on the new popular sex trend. So, if you’re looking to try out pegging for the first time and want to know where to start, or you’re a pegging connoisseur looking for extra tips to spice things up, look no further…

The question on everybody’s lips! Pegging is a penetrative sexual act whereby one person wears a strap-on dildo and anally penetrates their partner.

Pegging is more popular than people think. According to The Women’s Health Interactive, 16% of adults have tried it, and sales of pegging products are rising by over 40% yearly. So perhaps even more people are giving it a go than are willing to say!

Pegging is a huge exercise in trust, which can heighten feelings of intimacy and create stronger bonds between partners. It also allows for each partner to walk a mile in the other’s shoes when it comes to each other’s roles between the sheets. This can lead to a greater understanding of one another’s experiences and increase the potential for pleasure during future sexual encounters.

With lube! The anus isn’t self-lubricating, so no matter how much you want to try it, how turned on you are, or how much foreplay you engage in, it’s going to need a little help when it comes to lubrication. Make sure you’re opting for a water-based anal lube. This is for two reasons, firstly water-based lubes are safest to use with toys, and condoms, plus they are extremely skin-friendly. Anal lubes are formulated slightly differently to be thicker and longer lasting.

The next step is to get shopping, and level up your experience by searching for the right toys to try together. This will help to open up (ahem!) the conversation around what you both want to get from the experience and help you to discuss boundaries and expectations… which is something else key to making sure your pegging play is as perfect as can be.

My go-to advice for gauging your partner’s reaction to something like this is to bring it up by proxy. By this I mean to mention it in passing, you read it in a magazine, saw it in a film, or overheard someone else talking about it. This allows you to bring up your fantasy or fetish in a safe way. Your partner won’t feel as though they have to react a certain way, which means you are more likely to get a completely honest response from them.

The easiest way to find the prostate is to use some lube, the anal passage and a willing finger (do be sure to trim those nails.) The prostate, or ‘P Spot’ as it’s sometimes called is roughly a couple of inches inside the anus on the front wall. If you think about aiming for your belly button from inside your body you’re in the right ballpark. The area is made largely made up of nerves and veins and tends to feel softer or more rubbery than the rest of the tissue. Pressing it may incite a feeling of needing to pee, this is because the prostate gland sits right by the bladder.

If done properly pegging is completely safe. Make sure you take things slowly and use plenty of lube. A little discomfort in places is normal, however, if it hurts then you should stop. I’d recommend investing in a pegging kit, these come with different sized dildos so you can work your way up to more challenging toys if that’s something that you’re interested in.

Talk things through first. The last thing any person wants when engaging in any new sexual act like this is a surprise! So, make sure you’ve covered all your bases by talking with each other first.

Discuss what you’d like to get out of pegging. There’s a practical side to think about too, for example, if you’re the ‘giver’ and you’re much smaller than your partner you may need to do a little planning so the moment isn’t ruined by trying to find a box to stand on!

You should also settle on a safe word, this is a word you’re unlikely to say in the throes of passion and one that you both agree means that no matter what, play stops. Remember, when it comes to pegging, slow and steady wins the race… that, and lots of anal lube.

The main misconception I find about pegging is that it has some sort of bearing on sexuality. It doesn’t. Many, many people from all genders and sexual orientations enjoy anal play, the fact of the matter is – it feels good. Pleasure is a fundamental part of a happy and healthy sex life, and, regardless of what floats your boat is something that we all deserve to experience.