The day you share your engagement news with the world is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of your life. But for me, it turned into a nightmare when I found out that my partner of almost three years – and my new fiancé – had cheated on me simply because I posted the picture on social media. I had been engaged for under 24 hours when I found out, and I was numb, in shock and of course heartbroken. 

My ex was the first man I dated after the pandemic, and I had been single for eight years before meeting him. We hit it off instantly and we became official after six months. I remember asking him what changed his mind, and he said, ‘the reason I never wanted a relationship is because I love dating.’ But it felt like we never stopped having fun or dating.

Our first year of dating felt like being on cloud nine. We have similar views on the things that matter, such as money, values, and interests. We both love board games and are massive foodies, but we are different in ways that balance us out. I’m a very emotional person and he’s not. He was so good at listening to me and holding space for my big feelings. 

In the first year, we didn’t fight at all. I kept saying to my friends, ‘Surely the honeymoon stage doesn’t last this long?’ We started to bicker when we moved in together after a year, but only over small things like the dishwasher and the washing machine. After making some small changes to the way we did things, we managed to figure things out. The relationship was just easy, natural, and peaceful.

There had always been conversations about marriage and children. At first, he was on the fence about both, but later he said he wanted to get married and was open to having children. This all came about when I was having health problems last year and my doctor wanted me to come off the pill. They told me to have a conversation with my partner to make sure it would be ok if I fell pregnant as I was being put on hormones and the progesterone increases your chances of conceiving. We went ring shopping in November, and we started trying for a baby in December. Around that time, my mum let slip that he had asked my dad for permission to marry me.

When the proposal came, it was perfect. We were paddleboarding, which was one of our favourite things to do together. I was wearing old, ripped shorts and my painting shirt, drenched from sitting on the board. It was so us, and exactly what I wanted. Even now, it reminds me of how he knew me better than anyone in the world.

It all came crashing down on the day I announced our engagement via a picture on Instagram. I had chosen to keep most of our relationship private. I have a big following on social media having grown it over the last decade and most recently, thanks to my job as a Life Coach on This Morning, and lots of my content is around advice and learning lessons, so my page was never going to be about him. I also wanted to protect him. I know how to deal with negative comments online, but I didn’t want him to have to face that because I’ve seen how it can break people. Despite this, the engagement felt like news I wanted to share with my followers, especially since everyone in our life already knew.  

We were together when I posted the picture. About an hour after I posted it, I got a message from one of my followers which said ‘hey, is this your fiancé?’ I didn’t think much of it because I’d gotten similar messages before. My first instinct was that it was his colleague. I said, ‘Who’s this person?’ and he replied, ‘I’m on the phone to my brother, can we talk about this later?’ When I asked him again, he said he didn’t know her, but I thought that was strange since she knew his full name.

As I started to figure things out, I began shaking. I kept asking him to tell me the truth, because I didn’t want to find out from her. Then she sent screenshots of his profile on a dating app and his phone number. I believed her but I needed more proof to get him to admit it and she sent more screenshots which confirmed a hotel booking. I told my fiancé to type the hotel name into his email and the booking came up. He admitted to cheating on me with two other people after that. He tried to hug me, and I was like ‘I can’t do this, I need space,’ and walked out the room to call my sister. It felt like my whole world had come crashing down. 

I couldn’t eat and I couldn’t sleep. We had been out of London when we got engaged so returning to the flat was difficult – everywhere I looked there were pictures and reminders of him. My friends came over and helped me move his stuff to one area. I had a meeting booked with my new management and even though they suggested cancelling it, I knew I had to be able to deal with the practical and public side first to be able to fall apart emotionally. All I had my head at that point was: how do I deal with this publicly? It’s why I waited until we were getting engaged to share the picture – this person was supposed to be in my life forever.

After the meeting I stayed with my sister for week. I didn’t want to be alone, and it also meant my ex could move his stuff out of the flat. I was booked to appear on This Morning, and I decided to do it. When I’ve struggled with my health in the past, my career has always helped to distract me, so it felt like the right thing.  

I already had a holiday booked, because I thought I was going to be pregnant soon and one of my dreams was to go on a solo trip. It was meant to be a last hurrah before a baby arrived. Obviously, it ended up being a very different trip, but it also healed me. I even went on a few dates while I was out there, and it really helped. After one of the dates, I felt confident, I realised I was ready to share my story. There was a part of me that didn’t want to be known for this, but I remembered it was his humiliation and shame, not mine. I wanted to be honest, rather than hiding and protecting his secret.  I posted a video on Instagram, and it blew up more than I ever expected. Since I posted that video, there’s been over 2000 comments and every single one is positive. I can’t believe how many women it resonated with. 

Now, I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I want to lock myself in my bedroom and cry and on other days I feel like going on dates. I’ve been in touch with my ex throughout the whole process. His point of view is that he loved our life together, I did nothing wrong and that this is about him not me. I forgave him almost instantly because this is still the man who has held me through the worst hell I’ve been through. But staying isn’t an option for me. I told him that while our love is conditional, our relationship isn’t. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, but one that I hope will make me stronger. For now, I’m taking each day as it comes, and looking for evidence that good men exist.