In the final year of her relationship with her ex-partner, Catalina Correa, 24, started to notice some unexpected changes in her body. After they slept together, she would experience ‘random bleeding’ that lasted up to a week, accompanied by ‘internal discomfort’ when using the bathroom.

‘At first, I didn’t think anything of it,’ she says. ‘I started feeling confused, annoyed, like I was the problem or like I could simply never win when I was with him.’

After talking to a close friend, Correa thought the problem might be something to do with her. But since they broke up, she has interpreted the symptoms as signs her body physically ‘rejecting’ her ex. ‘Our relationship was a tad messy – we formally dated for a few months and then began the on and off cycle that many people experience,’ she says. ‘I think my mind and body knew that he wasn’t the right match for me subconsciously. I was just so stubborn and determined to make it work with him that my mind and body kind of came together to show me what I already knew on some level what I feared.’
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After their relationship ended, Correa slept with someone else and says she had ‘zero’ health problems. ‘This kind of confirmed it wasn’t me. Since then, I have never had a single problem with any other partner – not one ounce of pain or discomfort, not one drop of blood. Everything totally disappeared after I stopped sleeping with my ex,’ she says.

Correa is just one of the many people who have taken to social media to speculate that their bodies physically rejected their ex-partners. Last year, Lyss Boss, host of the Date Yourself Instead podcast, shared a now-viral TikTok in which she detailed how the stress being in a relationship with her ex made her physically sick. ‘I had a stomach-ache every day, constant anxiety for no reason, bloated like crazy, and had to get an EKG scan for my heart because I was so stressed,’ she said.

In another now-viral TikTok, creator @keepupwithkaisha says she got ‘the worst case of strep throat’ she ever had in her life when she was dating an ‘awful’ guy. ‘My body was literally telling me they didn’t want anything to do with this person. That he had to go,’ she says. The video has amassed over 275k likes and thousands of comments from women who have undergone similar experiences. One TikTok user wrote ‘endless UTI’s, BV, nausea every time I was with the last guy I dated.’ Another commented ‘Yep, for me I would go to the day being fine, whenever it came time to be around him, gut pains & dizziness. I ran away and never looked back.’ 

There are hundreds of videos under ‘Can Your Body Reject Your Partner’ on TikTok. In the clips, TikTokers list everything from IBS flare-ups, acne breakouts, bloating, insomnia, irregular periods, UTIs, yeast infections, nausea, palpitations, muscle aches – to name a few. ‘I haven’t heard of this happening to anyone before, at least not in my inner circle,’ says Correa. ‘When I saw the original TikTok circulating, it all kind of clicked for the very first time and I realised there’s a whole community of people out there who have gone through similar experiences.’

Of course, it’s worth remembering that all this is purely anecdotal – there has never been definitive proof that your body can physically ‘reject’ a partner. But there is research to show that negative relationships can take a toll on your health. One study found that women who experienced lots of conflict in their relationships tend to have similarly high blood sugar levels, high blood pressure and high rates of obesity. Another study by The Ohio State University found that married couples who fight excessively are more likely to suffer from ‘leaky gut’ – a condition in which toxins and bacteria ‘leak’ through the intestinal wall. There is even research to suggest that hostile relationships can slow down wound healing. Anecdotally, it’s also been reported that women dislike their partner’s body odour during the breakdown of a relationship. 

Naomi Magnus, Relationship Psychotherapist at North London Therapy, explains that there is ‘no scientific grounding’ for the theories about whether your body can reject your partner. In cases such as strep throat and UTIs, she says ‘specific types of bacteria’ need to be present for the symptoms to occur. ‘Being in the wrong relationship simply cannot create bacteria – there is no evidence to back up that claim,’ she says. 

However, she adds that the theory could be valid in the relationship between emotional wellbeing and physical wellbeing. ‘Feeling low can affect sleep, stress levels and general self-care, including a reduction in social network and support seeking. Such an impact could understandably lead to a general depletion in the body’s ability to fight off common infections through a generally lowered immune system,’ she says. ‘In this way, it would not be surprising if a person was in a bad relationship, for their body to then be more susceptible to illness that they may otherwise be able to effectively fight off.’

Those who have been in a chaotic relationship before will know it can lead to high levels of stress, which can wreak havoc on your health. Stress triggers your body’s fight or flight mode and, when experienced chronically, can cause negative health effects on your mood, immune and digestive systems, and cardiovascular health. 

When it comes to physical intimacy, Magnus explains that symptoms such as bleeding could be connected to something called ‘the bristle reaction’, which happens when one partner associates the other’s touch with something difficult. ‘This means that whenever one partner makes physical contact, the other’s body literally tenses up as they go into fight or flight. The bristle reaction is the body’s way of protecting itself when it doesn’t feel safe,’ she says. ‘If you’re tense and “bristling” while having sex, you’d be more likely to experience pain and tension and therefore bleeding is more likely.’ She adds that unexplained bleeding after sex should always be discussed with a doctor. 

If you are experiencing physical symptoms that you believe to be connected to your partner, Magnus recommends taking some time to reflect on how healthy the relationship is. ‘While the partner is not able to create illness in you, if your general wellbeing is being negatively impacted by your relationship then all kinds of physical symptoms may arise,’ she says. ‘I’d recommend talking through what you’re noticing with a trusted friend or relative to get some outside reflections and see where there may be value in what you’re noticing and what may be totally unrelated.’

As for Correa, she says she will always listen to what her body is telling her when dating future partners. ‘That’s not to say I’ll stop speaking to someone or dating them because of one bad experience, but now that I know the signs and the patterns, I will most definitely trust what my body is telling me over my heart,’ she says.