Let’s be honest: most of us think we’ve got it all figured out when it comes to the male member – after all, it’s pretty straightforward, right? Wrong. When it comes to pleasure, stimulation, and intimacy, there’s more to male anatomy than we might give it credit for.

And understanding it better isn’t just about boosting his pleasure, it’s about bettering sexual experiences for all involved. Appreciating the complexities of intimate pleasure when it comes to the penis can enhance the connection you share and open up new possibilities for arousal and pleasure. So, with that in mind, here are eight things you really should know about the penis… and male pleasure. Hang on to your hats!

It’s all about the brain

The general view from society is that men need the mere sniff of potential sex and they’re raring and ready to go. While this may be true for a percentage of guys, it’s not a hard (no pun intended) and fast rule. It’s easy to focus on the physical side of things, but male arousal starts in the brain. Stress, fatigue, or anxiety can be a real mood killer and can even prevent arousal entirely. Emotional connection and feeling desired can matter just as much to men as they do to women.

Pro tip: Build positive anticipation throughout the day. A sexy text, a genuine compliment, or an unexpected kiss can work wonders for his arousal.

Not all erections are equal

Not every erection is a rock-solid tribute to sex. Morning wood, arousal erections, and ‘maintenance erections’ (the ones that happen with seemingly no rhyme or reason) all serve different purposes. Erections can happen even at the most inopportune time and they’re not always a precursor to sexual activity or the result of stimulation.

Pro tip: Don’t take a ‘soft’ moment personally. It’s not a reflection of your appeal, a statement on your relationship, or a comment on your sexual skills. It could be stress, a full stomach, or even just biology. Be patient and playful instead of pressuring and remember, there’s a lot more to sex than penetration.

The frenulum is a hidden hotspot

The frenulum is the small ridge of skin on the underside of the penis, where the shaft meets the head, and it’s one of the most sensitive areas of the penis. Stimulating it gently, with your tongue, fingers, or a vibrator, can send pleasure into overdrive. The frenulum contains many ‘free nerve endings’, which makes it exceptionally sensitive, so handle it with care.

Pro tip: Use circular motions or teasing touches during oral or manual play. Experiment with textures, like a silk scarf or a cooling gel, to keep things interesting.

Pace yourself

The head of the penis, or glans, is packed with nerve endings — but that doesn’t mean you should go full throttle right away. Direct stimulation can sometimes feel overwhelming or even uncomfortable if he’s not fully aroused.

Pro tip: Start slow. Think of it as savouring a fine wine instead of downing a shot. Warm up the shaft and testicles first before focusing on the head, gentle massage is the way forward.

Erogenous zones extend beyond the penis

The penis may get all the attention, but erogenous zones like the perineum (the area between the testicles and the anus) and nipples are often overlooked. For many men, they’re major pleasure receptors. Some even report enjoying armpit stimulation, neck nibbles and gentle tickles behind the knees… the great thing about pleasure is it knows no bounds. Experimentation with your partner can result in the most fantastic outcomes such as a new pleasure point being discovered or a deeper connection being felt.

Pro tip: Try light massage, kissing, or using your tongue in these areas. Pay attention to his reactions — you might uncover a new favourite spot!

Orgasm and ejaculation don’t always go hand in hand

Believe it or not, men can orgasm without ejaculating and vice versa. The two are linked but not exclusive. Some men even explore ‘dry orgasms’ through certain techniques, which is where they climax but don’t ejaculate – this is because some believe there are physical and mental health benefits from this type of orgasm.

Pro tip: Encourage him to focus on sensations instead of rushing to climax. Prolonging the buildup can lead to a more intense release for both of you. Think of it as a jog to the finish line, not a sprint.

The testicles need gentle TLC

Testicles are sensitive in every sense of the word. They’re full of nerve endings, which means they receive pleasure well, but they’re also highly vulnerable to pain. Gentle touching, licking, or light sucking can heighten pleasure and add depth to your lovemaking… as long as he’s into it. If he is, encourage him to show you the type of pressure he enjoys and you can follow his lead.

Pro tip: Cup them gently or use warming lubricant to add extra sensations to play. Always check in with him to ensure you’re staying in the pleasure zone.

Post-Orgasm sensitivity is real

After ejaculation the penis can become hypersensitive, making continued stimulation uncomfortable or sometimes even painful. That doesn’t mean the fun has to stop, just switch gears and focus on a different way to enjoy one another instead.

Pro tip: Focus on cuddling, kissing, or massaging other areas after his climax. It’s a great way to keep the connection alive while he recovers.

Understanding the nuances of male pleasure is about more than just your technique; it’s about fostering communication, trust, and curiosity. So, don’t be afraid to ask questions, try new things, and most importantly, have fun exploring together. Because when you truly get the penis, you’ll realize it’s not just about him. It’s about the intimacy you share as a couple, creating pleasurable moments and building a deeper connection that will stand your relationship in good stead – and don’t forget, if in doubt ask! Communication, in whatever form works for you, is the cornerstone of any happy and healthy sexual experience.