After her most traumatic year, the Princess of Wales’s Christmas carol concert was both a celebration of love and a personal triumph. Festive of course, with the whole Wales family present at Westminster Abbey, and a landmark moment for Kate, 42, as she hosted her first public engagement since her cancer diagnosis and subsequent chemotherapy at the start of the year.

The theme was officially ‘love and empathy’ – but her personal cancer journey resonated with poignant readings by Prince William and candle lighting from other high-profile celebrities touched by the dis- ease including actors Richard E Grant and Michelle Dockery, and Olympians Adam Peaty and Sir Chris Hoy. Many of the 1,600 guests have also gone through difficult times this year and the festivities reflected upon ‘how much we need each other, especially in the most difficult times of our lives.’

The irony of the concert’s title Together At Christmas was not lost on royal courtiers, given that the King and his sons are the most divided they have ever been. Yet it was Kate’s message – given to each guest with their or- der of service – that was most illuminating.
It’s the first time she has ever written a personal letter and many decoded the subtle message of forgiveness as a reflection on how Kate herself has changed. ‘[Christmas] reflects our own vulnerabilities,’ she wrote. ‘And reminds us of the importance of giving and receiving empathy, as well as just how much we need each other in spite of our differences. Above all else, it encourages us to turn to love, not fear.’

She urges everyone to live with an ‘open heart’ and offer succour to those in need through ‘gentle words or a receptive ear, an arm around an exhausted shoulder or silently being by someone’s side.’ Of course, the importance of ‘kindness and forgiveness’ has very much been a feature of Kate’s year given her health journey. But friends have also wondered whether it may mean a thawing in relations with Prince Harry?

As one told me, ‘It has always been Catherine who has gently tried to soften William’s very hard stance against his younger brother. She values family above all else – her children, husband and Middleton family have been the rock which has got her through this extremely tough year. Harry is William’s only brother and despite every- thing that has been said and done, she believes that blood is thicker than water.’ 

In fact, Kate still sends Christmas and birthday presents to Archie and Lili, Harry and Meghan’s children, to keep some kind of communication lines open. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, for their part, will spend Christmas at their home in California, having not been invited to the royal family’s celebrations at Sandringham, but hope remains that time can heal those severely fractured relationships.

Kate’s message also suggests a new era is coming. She makes it clear that while she is slowly returning to public duties, her priority is her health and family, and we will not see a return to the ‘old’ Kate. Perhaps reflecting her growing spirituality, she wrote: ‘It is when we stop and take ourselves away from the pressures of daily life, that we find the space to live our lives with an open heart.’

As part of her gradual return to public life, the princess took a lead role in the state visit of the Emir of Qatar – welcoming Sheik Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani and the first of his three wives Sheikha Jawaher to the UK and then accompanying them to the full ceremonial welcome at Horse Guards Parade with the King.

Looking radiant in burgundy, she joined the royal party for lunch at Buckingham Palace, but did not attend the evening’s state banquet so she could pick her children up from school. This will be the model of her working life going forward – she will balance the duty of state and her personal work projects with protecting that ‘space’ to live.

As royal author Robert Jobson says, ‘This illness has made her realise that family is everything. It always must come first. Catherine has always put a huge amount of pressure on herself, but she is now more forgiving of her- self, not forcing herself to be the best all the time. A public engagement, a tour, a project has to be OK for her, to suit her, rather than she has to do something for appearances sake or just because she’s royal.’
Step by step, the princess is back –and undoubtedly the celebrations at Anmer Hall this Christmas will be the more joyous for it.

Read Kate’s full message here:

Dear guest

I am so delighted that you’re able to join this Carol Service. I wanted to write and share my heartfelt thanks for all that you have done to provide comfort and hope to those who need it the most.

Christmas is one of my favourite times of the year. It is a time for celebration and joy, but it also gives us the opportunity to slow down and reflect on the deeper things that connect us all. It is when we stop and take ourselves away from the pressures of daily life, that we find the space to live our lives with an open heart, with love, kindness and forgiveness – so much of what the Christmas spirit is all about.

The Christmas story encourages us to consider the experiences and feelings of others.  It also reflects our own vulnerabilities and reminds us of the importance of giving and receiving empathy, as well as just how much we need each other in spite of our differences. Above all else, it encourages us to turn to love, not fear. The love that we show ourselves and the love we show others. Love that listens with empathy, love that is kind and understanding, love that is forgiving, and love that brings joy and hope.

It is this love which is the greatest gift we can receive. Not just at Christmas, but every day of our lives. Love is the light that can shine bright, even in our darkest times. We all have something we can offer one another. Gentle words or a receptive ear, an arm around an exhausted shoulder, or silently being by someone’s side.

Across the United Kingdom, there are so many inspiring people embracing those in need. They have provided comfort, counsel, and connection, and above all else they have shown that love unites and strengthens us all.

This Carol Service is a heartfelt celebration of every one of you, and a reminder that at Christmas, and throughout the year, we must all shine for each other. Because in times of joy and sadness, we are all each other’s light.  I wish you and your loved ones a very Merry Christmas.