[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-post-title” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”Black Han Sans|700||on|||||” header_text_align=”center” header_font_size=”46px” header_letter_spacing=”4px” custom_margin=”25px||5px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||true|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-name” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Black Han Sans|||on|||||” text_text_color=”#000000″ header_4_font=”|||on|||||” header_4_text_align=”center” text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
By Georgia, 30, academic<\/strong><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2024\/06\/GettyImages-524376256.jpg” alt=”Jennifer Aniston” title_text=”GettyImages-524376256″ force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” min_height=”107px” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n Next year I\u2019ll walk down the aisle knowing that my husband has slept with two of my bridesmaids. What might surprise you is that it’s not a secret, and I wouldn\u2019t mind if it happened again.<\/p>\n I am in an open relationship and will remain in one after our wedding. It\u2019s a type of ethical non-monogamy, but we\u2019re not polyamorous. He\u2019ll be my husband, and I\u2019ll be his wife. We just enjoy having sex with other people \u2013 sometimes together, sometimes apart, and often with people that we know. Even our best friends.<\/p>\n It hasn\u2019t always been like this. We first started dating six years ago and will have been together for seven years by the time we get married. We met through friends who couldn\u2019t be in a more traditional monogamous relationship and for a while we were the same.<\/p>\n Slowly something changed as we became aware of how many people around us were in open relationships. At first I was like, what is our friendship group? What is going on? Then I started to realise how common it is. My fianc\u00e9 owns a business, his best man is a scientist, I work in academia \u2013 you’d be surprised to know how many people are in open relationships.<\/p>\n We started talking about it when we were alone and grew more and more curious. Then we started talking about it during sex and realised it was turning us both on. We thought, let’s give this a go \u2013 maybe it works, maybe not.<\/p>\n The first time we opened our relationship was with two of our friends who were already in an open relationship. We went round to theirs with no expectations and after a few drinks one thing led to another, and we ended up having sex with them. It\u2019s not like we were drunk or couldn\u2019t remember it, but it definitely helped ease us in.<\/p>\n It started with me and her, which made things a bit easier because I\u2019m bisexual. I think it needs to be the woman who takes the lead, because the man taking the lead can feel quite pushy and uncomfortable.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-quote” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_2_font=”Libre Bodoni|||on|||||” header_2_text_align=”center” header_2_text_color=”#333333″ header_2_font_size=”40px” header_2_line_height=”1.2em” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”|||0px||” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n It was great and very relaxed, because they\u2019ve been doing it for a long time. They\u2019ve been married for 20 years and were able to give us a lot of useful advice about what they’d found difficult or easy. I\u2019d say we spoke about it for about two hours, and their main message to us was to communicate.<\/p>\n I have to add, it\u2019s not like this works with all friends. Everyone\u2019s different and wants different things, and obviously you have to find them attractive.<\/p>\n After that night, we knew it was something we wanted to explore, and we knew we wanted to go into it with caution. I\u2019ve found myself getting off on my partner getting off, which I didn\u2019t see happening. All of this was so new to me because I\u2019ve always been such a possessive person. I\u2019ve been cheated on in the past and have felt very \u2018this is mine\u2019, but this felt different.<\/p>\n It didn\u2019t take long before we really leant into it and started going to sex parties and meeting with other couples on sites like Vivastreet. They have an adult dating section where couples or singles can put up ads looking for other people to have fun with, so we make a lot of connections on there, including people who are now our closest friends.<\/p>\n Obviously, we\u2019ve had to lay down some rules. We don\u2019t ever spend the night with people. We don\u2019t have sex with anyone else in our bed. I always want to know every detail when he\u2019s been with someone else, including my best friends, so that I don\u2019t feel excluded. And my partner wants to have sex with me straight away when I\u2019ve been with someone else \u2013 this is often called \u2018reclaim sex\u2019.<\/p>\n One time, I told him over the phone that I\u2019d had sex with my best friend, and he wasn\u2019t happy about it because he was far away. He said, \u2018What am I supposed to do now?\u2019 I wouldn\u2019t do that again. I tell him when I see him, and then we usually have sex straight away.<\/p>\n When he slept with one of my bridesmaids, we had already talked about it. I was going away to the US for work, and he mentioned that he found her attractive. I said, ‘I\u2019m going away \u2013 why don\u2019t you just meet up?’ At first when I knew it was happening, I was having those old feelings of \u2018that\u2019s mine\u2019, which is apparently very normal. After it happened, he facetimed me and I said, ‘Tell me everything. How did it start? What did you do? What positions did you do? How long did it go on for? How do you feel about it?’<\/p>\n I had a weird feeling in my stomach because this was the first time it had ever happened. Later on, she texted me to say she\u2019d had a nice time and wanted to check everything was ok. That helped immeasurably.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-quote” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_2_font=”Libre Bodoni|||on|||||” header_2_text_align=”center” header_2_text_color=”#333333″ header_2_font_size=”40px” header_2_line_height=”1.2em” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”|||0px||” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n I don\u2019t get those same feelings anymore, because I know he tells me everything and I know he\u2019d never do anything I was uncomfortable with. To be honest, there are some friends I wouldn\u2019t be happy with him sleeping with, and he knows that too.<\/p>\n When it comes to our wedding, that night is just for us. We\u2019re not having sex with other people around that time, but we will at our stag and hen parties. We\u2019ve got a really small friendship group so we\u2019re doing a joint stag and hen. We\u2019re going to do three nights abroad, one apart and two together, and one of those nights will be a sex party. Obviously, it\u2019s not for everyone. We\u2019re only inviting our friends who we know will be onboard.<\/p>\n It\u2019s the same with our wedding \u2013 we wouldn\u2019t invite anyone who would judge the situation. It will be funny because it\u2019s such a 50\/50 split of people who are open and people who are single or in relationships. It\u2019s going to be interesting to see what happens. One of my friends was like, \u2018This is going to be the weirdest wedding, knowing the four of you have had sex.’ I was like, ‘Why is that weird?’ When my bridesmaids are next to me on my wedding day, I probably won\u2019t even be thinking about it.<\/p>\n I think when you\u2019re good friends with someone, they understand. It was the same when I had sex with one of my best friends. With close female friends, adding sex into it just makes the friendship stronger and deeper, because you\u2019ve got a further connection with them.<\/p>\n People have such a seedy idea of what open relationships can be like but it\u2019s just not how it is. Everyone\u2019s different, right? I\u2019ve got friends who are polyamorous and that would never work for me. This is my relationship, and I wouldn\u2019t want anyone else brought into it. The thought of him out for dinner with someone romantically makes me really uncomfortable.<\/p>\n If you had told me six years ago that I\u2019d be comfortable with my friends sleeping with my partner, I probably wouldn\u2019t have believed you. It\u2019s taken a lot of time, but it\u2019s definitely brought us closer. There may come a point when one of us doesn\u2019t want to do it anymore, and if that happens, we\u2019ll stop. But for now, it works, and I don\u2019t think marriage or having kids in the future will change that.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider color=”#111111″ divider_position=”center” divider_weight=”2px” module_class=”custom-divider” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-texts” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|||on|||||” text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”9px|||||” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n Photo: Getty<\/b><\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Next year I\u2019ll walk down the aisle knowing that my husband has slept with two of my bridesmaids.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":3326,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3325","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feature"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"kschwarz","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3325","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3325"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3325\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3334,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3325\/revisions\/3334"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3325"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3325"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3325"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}‘I always want to know every detail when he\u2019s been with someone else, including my best friends’<\/h2>\n
‘This is going to be the weirdest wedding, knowing the four of you have had sex.’<\/h2>\n