{"id":3724,"date":"2024-07-30T19:45:00","date_gmt":"2024-07-30T19:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/?p=3724"},"modified":"2024-07-30T14:58:36","modified_gmt":"2024-07-30T14:58:36","slug":"im-a-professional-matchmaker-heres-what-youre-doing-wrong-on-dates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/2024\/07\/30\/im-a-professional-matchmaker-heres-what-youre-doing-wrong-on-dates\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019m a matchmaker – here\u2019s the one thing everyone does wrong on dates"},"content":{"rendered":"\n[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-post-title” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”Black Han Sans|700||on|||||” header_text_align=”center” header_font_size=”46px” header_letter_spacing=”4px” custom_margin=”25px||5px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||true|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]

I\u2019m a professional matchmaker – here\u2019s what you\u2019re doing wrong on dates<\/strong><\/h1>\n

<\/h1>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-name” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Black Han Sans|||on|||||” text_text_color=”#000000″ header_4_font=”|||on|||||” header_4_text_align=”center” text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]

Words by Charlotte Ball, as told to Isobel Lewis<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image title_text=”RECORD DATE NOT STATED Romantic dinner in restaurant with candles and wine , 40641674.jpg, wine, red, glass, dinner, bac” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2024\/07\/imago0201036890h-1-scaled.jpg” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]

You’ve got to be a real people person to be a matchmaker. You’ve got to be a good listener, and be very social. You’ve got to have that intuition and gut feeling. Before I joined the industry, I was working in the property industry and had set up a very good friend, who was working for a matchmaking company. I had a chat with her boss, and got the job pretty much there and then. I did that for about three or four years before deciding that I wanted to set up my own company, Bond The Agency.<\/p>\n

Most of the people who come to us have what I call \u2018app fatigue\u2019. They\u2019ve had enough of the apps. Time is precious; people have busy jobs and for a lot of people that are in their 30s as well, they want to have kids. They don’t want to waste the other person\u2019s time as well.<\/p>\n

Over the years, I\u2019ve learnt many of the common mistakes people are making when they date. We allow people to have one deal breaker, one absolute \u2018no\u2019, but I think if you can be more open minded, the better success you’re going to have. I think especially a lot of women as well, they’re very specific on age, and you’ve got to be a little bit more open. Allow yourself to really get to know the other person without making too many assumptions. Sometimes you won\u2019t feel that initial attraction to someone, and I get attraction is really important, but show some warmth, smile, laugh, enjoy the date, even if it’s not someone you immediately have that spark with. It could be a slow burner.<\/p>\n

One common mistake is doing what every normal person does before dates and being a little FBI, looking people up. When we\u2019re planning dates, we\u2019ll talk someone through a profile, but we won\u2019t say surnames or jobs, because that’s really down for people to feel comfortable and disclose that. People want partners to really like them for them, rather than what they do or what they earn or where they live. People can go into the nitty gritties of what they do later down the line.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-quote” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_2_font=”Libre Bodoni|||on|||||” header_2_text_align=”center” header_2_text_color=”#333333″ header_2_font_size=”40px” header_2_line_height=”1.2em” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]

\u2018A lot of women put up barriers, where they have quite a rigid list of criteria of what they’re looking for’<\/h2>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]

Some of the mistakes are gendered, especially when it comes to heterosexual relationships. I think a lot of women put up barriers, where they have quite a rigid list of criteria of what they’re looking for. Sometimes that means that they’re therefore not giving someone a chance \u2013 it could be their perfect future partner, but because they’re so set on these things that they want ticked, it can limit the chances of them being happy and actually meeting the right person. Another of the top ones would be playing games in fear of rejection, waiting to text back and all of that.<\/p>\n

A common mistake men make on dates is talking about themselves too much (or they talk about exes a lot); not actively listening, basically. Being a bit too physical too soon, that’s a big one, or not making an effort appearance wise. First impressions mean everything, so really making sure that you’re looking the part is important. Failing to plan or put effort into the date, being late, drinking too much.<\/p>\n

Generally, I think body language is really important; how you’re positioning yourself, or even the touch of your hair, how you’re sitting, things like that. There are a lot of small things that can be relayed to the other person. You\u2019ve got to strike the balance, too, between knowing finding out whether someone\u2019s a good match, and not going in too hard from the start. Talking about children and marriage and things like that on a first date can be a bit overwhelming for some people, so you’ve got to slowly, gradually, speak about that later on.<\/p>\n

As for easy wins? You’ve got to be very interested, you’ve got to ask questions. Dress appropriately, so really know what date you’re going on. Timing; be punctual, don’t be late. Eye contact, I think, is a really good one. Some people are good at it, some people aren’t but try and have that eye contact with someone to show that you’re interested.<\/p>\n

Ultimately, the key to a good date is just being yourself. You’ve got to be authentic. People often present an idealised version of themselves, especially in the early stages of dating, but if you’re trying to be someone else, you’re going to fail later down the line.<\/p>\n

Charlotte Ball, Founder of Bond The Agency<\/a>\u201d in the piece and hyperlink it to the Bomd website? (Bondtheagency.com)<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ theme_builder_area=”post_content” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default”][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m a professional matchmaker – here\u2019s what you\u2019re doing wrong on dates Words by Charlotte Ball, as told to Isobel LewisYou’ve got to be a real people person to be a matchmaker. You’ve got to be a good listener, and be very social. You’ve got to have that intuition and gut feeling. Before I joined […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":3725,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3724","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feature"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"guestgrazia","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3724","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3724"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3724\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3741,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3724\/revisions\/3741"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3725"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3724"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3724"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3724"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}