[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-post-title” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”Black Han Sans|700||on|||||” header_text_align=”center” header_font_size=”46px” header_letter_spacing=”4px” custom_margin=”25px||5px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||true|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-name” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Black Han Sans|||on|||||” text_text_color=”#000000″ header_4_font=”|||on|||||” header_4_text_align=”center” text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
Words by Tom Stroud [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2024\/09\/Screenshot-2024-09-09-at-14.29.51.png” alt=”Jennifer Aniston” title_text=”Maria Red Carpet – The 81st Venice International Film Festival Angelina Jolie attends a red carpet for Maria during the” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” min_height=”107px” custom_padding=”||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n My experience on the Netflix show Love is Blind UK taught me a lot about who I am and what my values are. And one of the most polarising storylines from the whole show was centred around me being a 50\/50 guy, with my ex-fianc\u00e9 Maria seeing men as being \u2018providers\u2019 and expecting them to pick up the bill.\u00a0<\/p>\n Of course, the reality of our situation was a lot more nuanced than that, but it sparked huge conversation online, and not all positive. I\u2019d have comments ranging from people celebrating me as a believer in equality and equity (bang on), a self-reflective feminist (absolutely here for it) to people calling me stingy, tight and a princess (would argue the case on these, my tiara has been in the loft for a while).\u00a0<\/p>\n Perhaps the reason it sparked such intense debate is because finding your happy place when it comes to money in a new relationship is a conversation which most couples can relate to. According to\u00a0Forbes, 38% of divorces in the US cite financial problems as a cause.\u00a0<\/p>\n Of course, your views on the financial contribution either of you puts into your relationship are dependent on your environment. I was raised by a single mum who had to take on the \u2018provider\u2019 role, but instilled a belief in me that women can do amazing things in the workplace and be financially independent, as well as create a beautiful environment to raise children. Then, in my adult life, I\u2019ve been surrounded and inspired by women in the PR industry who combine more traditional \u2018masculine\u2019 leadership qualities, along with more empathy, compassion and communication than their male counterparts.\u00a0<\/p>\n That\u2019s led me to the belief that, when it comes to finances in a relationship, it should be about fairness and equity. When it comes to first dates, I will pick up the bill – but it\u2019s not about gender, it\u2019s because I\u2019ve asked that person out and it\u2019s a nice gesture. If I earn \u00a3100k and my partner earns \u00a350k, I think we should contribute proportionately depending on our incomes.\u00a0<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_code _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” theme_builder_area=”post_content” hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″]https:\/\/youtube.com\/shorts\/Jtq2hovCHi8?si=27zWL_rLhGsWKDco[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-quote” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_2_font=”Libre Bodoni|||on|||||” header_2_text_align=”center” header_2_text_color=”#333333″ header_2_font_size=”40px” header_2_line_height=”1.2em” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_code _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” theme_builder_area=”post_content” hover_enabled=”0″ sticky_enabled=”0″]https:\/\/youtube.com\/watch?v=\/Jtq2hovCHi8?si=paUtz1OlEVbk3JY_[\/et_pb_code][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n My biggest regret on the show was around being judgemental about Maria\u2019s job as a make-up artist, and when I reflect back on it, I made that judgement without fully understanding what a rewarding career it can be.\u00a0And it\u2019s important to apply that level of reflection to women who believe men should be providers. While men taking financial responsibility for women isn\u2019t something I believe in, I do think it\u2019s important to understand why certain men and women feel that way.\u00a0<\/p>\n In some circumstances it can be down to religious beliefs, in some cases it\u2019s about women feeling safe and secure in their relationship, and of course you must consider raising children and the challenges this brings when it comes to women and their careers.\u00a0And I think from Maria\u2019s point of view it was about the man she\u2019s dating taking financial responsibility during the courtship phase, because that shows they\u2019re trying to \u2018woo\u2019 and impress the woman.\u00a0<\/p>\n But even with these factors in mind, I still stand by my position.\u00a0<\/p>\n If we want men and women to be treated equally, if we want to address important factors like the gender pay gap, if we want to get rid of outdated views of \u2018masculine\u2019 and \u2018feminine\u2019 traits, then we have to start by putting men and women on a level playing field.\u00a0<\/p>\n That means, in my opinion, looking at a relationship as a \u2018partnership\u2019, where each \u2018partner\u2019 contributes equally based on their means and what they can – and want to – bring to the table.\u00a0<\/p>\n This more traditional view of women maintaining a home while the man goes out to work doesn\u2019t fit the view I have of successful modern relationships, and we need to be a lot more fluid than that. Why shouldn\u2019t I want to take responsibility for cooking our meals if I enjoy it? Why shouldn\u2019t my partner want to progress in her career if it gives her purpose and makes her feel good about herself? Why shouldn\u2019t I take equal responsibility in raising our children so my partner can go out and work?<\/p>\n I believe the success of Love is Blind UK was down to the emotional maturity of the cast members, and the show has normalised the idea that couples should talk openly about topics like financial contributions before they make a longer-term commitment to each other. And while reality TV gets a lot of stick, if it helps people communicate more openly about these topics, then that\u2019s something which should be celebrated.\u00a0<\/p>\n So what\u2019s next? I\u2019m all for including a section on dating apps where you state your views on finances \u2013 it might save a lot of pain in the long run!<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider color=”#111111″ divider_position=”center” divider_weight=”2px” module_class=”custom-divider” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-texts” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|||on|||||” text_orientation=”center” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n IMAGE: NETFLIX<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" test<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":4047,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4062","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feature"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"kschwarz","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4062","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4062"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4062\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4066,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4062\/revisions\/4066"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4047"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4062"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4062"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4062"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
<\/strong><\/p>\n‘If I earn \u00a3100k and my partner earns \u00a350k, I think we should contribute proportionately’\u00a0<\/h2>\n