[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-post-title” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”Black Han Sans|700||on|||||” header_text_align=”center” header_font_size=”46px” header_letter_spacing=”4px” custom_margin=”25px||5px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||true|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-name” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Black Han Sans|||on|||||” text_text_color=”#000000″ header_4_font=”|||on|||||” header_4_text_align=”center” text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n
Words by Alice Hall [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2024\/10\/img1111-copy.jpg” alt=”Kirat Assi Sweet Bobby” title_text=”img1111 copy” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” min_height=”107px” custom_padding=”||0px|||” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n It was the catfishing nightmare that shocked millions of listeners of the hit podcast Sweet Bobby, now the subject of a new Netflix documentary of the same name. For almost ten years Kirat Assi believed she was in a long-distance relationship with \u2018Bobby\u2019 only to discover that she had been the victim of a disturbing fraud. Now she wants to raise awareness of the devastating impact of catfishing which, she tells Grazia, \u2018can happen to anybody\u2019.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n While Bobby Jandu was a real person, his identity had been stolen by Kirat\u2019s cousin, Simran Bhogal. She posed as Bobby online and manipulated Kirat in an extraordinary web of deceit. Simran invented a complex online network of 60 characters connected to Bobby, some real people whose Facebook profiles had been duplicated, and others totally fictional. These guises were used to trick Kirat into believing Simran\u2019s fraud and the elaborate lies Bobby would weave over the course of their relationship.\u00a0<\/p>\n The scam started in 2009, when Kirat was approached by \u2018Bobby\u2019 on Facebook following the supposed death of his brother JJ \u2013 who happened to be Simran\u2019s ex-boyfriend (JJ was, in fact, alive and well).\u00a0\u2018I don\u2019t randomly speak to people online. I\u2019ve never been that person,\u2019 Kirat says. When Bobby contacted her, thanking Kirat for being kind to his brother and helping him through his break up with Simran, Kirat felt on the back foot. \u2018I was thinking, \u201cI haven\u2019t even paid my condolences, and he\u2019s approached me.\u201d That\u2019s not right in our culture. I felt a bit ashamed and guilty that I didn\u2019t reach out when I should have.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n Very gradually, Assi and Bobby formed an online friendship, messaging back and forth. \u2018He used me as a shoulder to lean on, but I was very careful about what I shared with him. It was all very respectful,\u2019 she says.\u00a0The friendship continued over many years until Bobby confessed he was in love with Kirat. But that wasn\u2019t all: the declaration of love came after Bobby spun an astonishing story, claiming that he had been shot and was recovering in a New York hospital having been relocated in a witness protection programme.<\/p>\n \u2018I understood for someone to be in witness protection there had to be some kind of threat to life. Bobby\u2019s from a well-known family and some of the photos and things that I\u2019ve seen online show wealth, which is why he might be targeted,\u2019 Kirat says in the documentary.\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-quote” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_2_font=”Libre Bodoni|||on|||||” header_2_text_align=”center” header_2_text_color=”#333333″ header_2_font_size=”40px” header_2_line_height=”1.2em” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n Kirat eventually agreed to a \u2018romantic\u2019 relationship with Bobby, under the impression that he only had six months left to live.\u00a0\u2018I thought he was going to die. You think \u201cwhat have I got to lose?\u201d I\u2019m just making a man happy. But then he never died.\u2019\u00a0Instead, Bobby continued to use a constant stream of medical emergencies to control Kirat.\u00a0<\/p>\n Throughout their relationship, Bobby told Kirat he couldn\u2019t video call or show his face because of the witness protection program.<\/b><\/p>\n \u2018Video calling wasn\u2019t really a thing back then,\u2019 she says. \u2018In witness protection, video calling wasn\u2019t allowed, it was a risk apparently to everyone else in the vicinity. We just stuck to that rule for ages. When he came out of witness protection, he asked me to video call, but he\u2019d never show his face. Eventually I switched mine off, because he wouldn\u2019t show his.\u2019<\/p>\n Then more excuses came; his phone would be broken, or a health issue would flair up. All the while, he began to exert more and more control over Kirat, eventually ruling her whole life. \u2018I couldn\u2019t even go to the bathroom without telling him because he\u2019d say, \u201cWhere were you? I got scared, what if something happened to me and you weren\u2019t there?\u201d\u2019 He got angry if she went out and spent time with other people.\u00a0<\/p>\n She was expected to pick up the phone whenever he rang, and to stay on the line to speak \u2018consultants\u2019 when he had a medical emergency so she could be there for Bobby when he woke up. \u2018Whenever he came round, I\u2019d have to gently talk to him. [The consultants] said I needed to tell them if there were changes in his behaviours, or if he was making noises, because it could be that he\u2019s having seizures in his sleep. I\u2019d be reporting stuff to the consultant constantly \u2013 that being Simran,\u2019 she says. \u2018It was very uncomfortable. It became very intense because of the health stuff I thought was going on. It was my kindness being taken advantage of,\u2019 she adds.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0\u2018It\u2019s hard for people to understand what it\u2019s like being in that situation. It\u2019s like a drip [\u2026] Slowly, you\u2019re controlled to the point where you\u2019re not doing the things you want to do, or that you would do, because you\u2019re trying to avoid an argument, or you\u2019re scared.<\/p>\n \u00a0\u2018I tried to block him, but then he\u2019d have a stroke, and his \u201ccousin\u201d would call me and say, \u201che needs you\u201d. I\u2019d feel guilty I caused it because the consultant told me he shouldn\u2019t have stress. It was a cycle.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n \u00a0Her mental health started to deteriorate due to the toxic relationship with Bobby. \u2018I recognised I wasn\u2019t myself, and the few people I had occasional communication with were saying it to me too,\u2019 she says. \u2018I shut myself off. I couldn\u2019t speak. I started to lose weight.\u2019 One time she was going to meet a colleague, which she had to keep a secret from Bobby. \u2018I was like, \u201cI can\u2019t leave the house, I\u2019m too scared. What\u2019s going to happen if he finds out?\u201d\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n In the end, Kirat\u2019s suspicions were raised when Bobby finally visited London, but still refused to see her. She hired a private investigator who tracked Bobby\u2019s last known address to Brighton and Kirat drove down to confront him. After a painful confrontation with the real Bobby, the truth unravelled.\u00a0The Bobby she had been communicating with for years was, in fact, her cousin Simran.\u00a0<\/p>\n The documentary shines a light on Simran\u2019s confession, which came the day after Kirat told her she was going to tell the police about the deception.\u00a0\u2018I can\u2019t comment on how Simran might be feeling [about the documentary],\u2019 Kirat says. \u2018She didn\u2019t let on very much after the confession. I just want her to be accountable and own up to exactly what she\u2019s done. I\u2019d like her just to lay it out, so we all know what she\u2019s done and how she\u2019s going to take responsibility for it.\u2019\u00a0<\/p>\n Kirat won a \u2018substantial settlement\u2019 in a civil case against Simran In 2020 for \u2018harassment, misuse of private information, and data protection breaches\u2019. However, catfishing is not against the law in the UK and police told Kirat that what happened to her is not a crime.<\/p>\n Does she hope the documentary might finally deliver some kind of justice? \u2018I hope the documentary creates awareness about these issues and instigates some kind of change in people\u2019s attitudes and allows other people to speak up,\u2019 she says. \u2018I know there\u2019s other victims, some that have come forward, some that haven\u2019t. Everyone\u2019s scared of being ridiculed, but I\u2019ve put myself out there to be ridiculed. I might be stupid, na\u00efve, whatever you want to call me, but she shouldn\u2019t have done what she did. We need to call that kind of behaviour out.\u2019<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider color=”#111111″ divider_position=”center” divider_weight=”2px” module_class=”custom-divider” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-texts” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|||on|||||” text_orientation=”center” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n IMAGE: NETFLIX\u00a0<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Kirat Assi tells Grazia about her catfishing nightmare that shocked millions…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":4362,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4361","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feature"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"kschwarz","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4361","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4361"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4361\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4367,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4361\/revisions\/4367"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4362"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4361"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4361"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4361"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
<\/strong><\/p>\n‘Bobby continued to use a constant stream of medical emergencies to control kirat’<\/span><\/h2>\n