[et_pb_section fb_built=”1″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_row _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_column type=”4_4″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-post-title” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_font=”Black Han Sans|700||on|||||” header_text_align=”center” header_font_size=”46px” header_letter_spacing=”4px” custom_margin=”25px||5px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||true|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-name” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Black Han Sans|||on|||||” text_text_color=”#000000″ header_4_font=”|||on|||||” header_4_text_align=”center” text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n
Words by Kristabel Plummer [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2024\/10\/kristabel.jpeg” title_text=”kristabel” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” alt=”Kristabel Plummer” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” min_height=”107px” custom_padding=”||0px|||” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n As an influencer, I\u2019m used to sharing my day-to-day life on social media. But recently, I decided to share a different type of post titled my \u2018Museum of Failures.\u2019 One of the failures I listed was never having had a boyfriend by the age of 37. <\/p>\n The aim of the post was to show that although these things might be seen as \u2018failures\u2019 in society\u2019s eyes, they can be reframed as moments of growth that are part of our individual journeys. Being single age 37 isn\u2019t something I think of as a \u2018failure\u2019 \u2013 it\u2019s something I accept as part of my story.<\/p>\n After sharing the post on Instagram (@iamkristabel) and TikTok (@kristabelplummer), I received lots of messages from people in similar situations who said it was reassuring to hear someone speaking openly about being single in their late thirties. I wasn\u2019t dating serious men in my twenties, and a big part of finding a partner who wants to be in a relationship is luck and timing. When combined with the years we all lost to the pandemic and a disposable dating app culture, it\u2019s little wonder that more women my age are still single. <\/p>\n I was a bit of a late bloomer growing up. I went to a girl\u2019s school, and around age 14, everyone was suddenly talking about \u2018how far\u2019 they had gone. I was like \u2018hang on, when were we meant to be kissing boys?\u2019 That made me feel quite insecure at the time. I grew up in the early noughties, which was an interesting time to come of age. We had ladette culture, reality TV and celebrities \u2013 sex was everywhere. If you were the opposite of that, it felt quite lonely. <\/p>\n I made some good friends who were also late bloomers. A lot of them got boyfriends when they were around 18, which can be seen as quite late. I also dated someone for the first time when I was 18 and it didn\u2019t work out. That affected me quite a bit. I went on to study a female dominated course at university and my halls weren\u2019t the most sociable, so I didn\u2019t meet anyone there. My school friends were really understanding, but I kept a lot of this stuff a secret for a while because it went against everything everyone else was doing.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-quote” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_2_font=”Libre Bodoni|||on|||||” header_2_text_align=”center” header_2_text_color=”#333333″ header_2_font_size=”40px” header_2_line_height=”1.2em” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]<\/p>\n I put my work first throughout my twenties. My career as an influencer was taking off, and in many ways that became my boyfriend. I had lots of things to occupy my time with, like press trips and campaigns. Looking back, this had a lot to do with the \u2018girl boss\u2019 era I grew up in. There was a bit of a stigma against bloggers at the time, so we were working quite hard to make a name for ourselves. <\/p>\n When I was 27, I decided I was finally going to try dating websites. I hadn\u2019t been on a date in nine years. This was before the days of swiping on apps, so I just remember messages coming into my inbox. Sometimes there was racism \u2013 one guy said, \u2018nice wig\u2019 and another one said, \u2018let\u2019s have mixed race babies.\u2019 I had a few dates, and I met someone who I had what is now known as a \u2018situationship\u2019 with \u2013 although we didn\u2019t have the language to describe these situations at the time. I realised it wasn\u2019t going anywhere, and it ended with us mutually ghosting each other.<\/p>\n Then the pandemic hit, and I saw out lockdown by myself. A difficult four years followed, where my nan passed away and I had some health issues. Suddenly, I was like \u2018Oh my god, I\u2019m 37.\u2019 This is something so many of us experienced during covid. It even has a name, the pandemic skip \u2013 the sense that your mental age is younger than your chronological age. The pandemic has made it a lot more understandable as to why more of us aren\u2019t in relationships right now. <\/p>\n I\u2019d like to find someone and to have children but I\u2019m not sure how to approach it. Guys have a different mindset because they aren\u2019t thinking about their body clocks, so lots of them are just happy to carry on dating casually. But I\u2019m getting tired of dating apps. I don\u2019t like swiping and making snap decisions. I find myself asking: \u2018do I give this guy a chance even though I don\u2019t fancy him? Am I being too picky?\u2019 It brings up a lot of weird emotions. It also makes dating quite disposable \u2013 I\u2019ve had three guys cancel on me this year, including one 40 minutes before the date. <\/p>\n I\u2019m lucky to have a close group of friends, but being single later in your thirties does come with some challenges. A handful of my friends got pregnant in quick succession of each other, and suddenly it felt like I was surrounded by babies. That took a bit of adjusting too, as late nights were off the cards, and I often had to work around their schedules. They are all really understanding of my situation, but I try and have other friends at a similar life stage to me too.<\/p>\n I think the stigma around being single in your thirties, and beyond, is improving. It\u2019s so refreshing to see influencers being more open about being late bloomers, and their own dating struggles. At least now people in their twenties can follow us and see you can live a full life without being in a relationship. <\/p>\n My advice to anyone in a similar situation would be to accept that being single at this age is part of your story. It might just mean you\u2019ve been prioritising other things or not found your person yet. I\u2019ve had a cool 37 years, and when I meet someone, I\u2019ve got 37 years of new experiences to look forward to. Plus, when else can you blast your most embarrassing playlists when doing the washing up? This might be the last time you experience being single, so the bottom line is to enjoy it.<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider color=”#111111″ divider_position=”center” divider_weight=”2px” module_class=”custom-divider” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-texts” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|||on|||||” text_orientation=”center” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”]<\/p>\n IMAGE: IMAGO<\/p>\n [\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The aim of the post was to show that although these things might be seen as \u2018failures\u2019 in society\u2019s eyes, they can be reframed as moments of growth<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":4381,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4395","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feature"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"kschwarz","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4395","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4395"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4395\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4405,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4395\/revisions\/4405"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4381"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
<\/strong><\/p>\n‘The pandemic has made it a lot more understandable as to why more of us aren\u2019t in relationships right now’<\/h2>\n