She’s not the only one to talk about demisexuality recently.<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-name” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Black Han Sans|||on|||||” text_text_color=”#000000″ header_4_font=”|||on|||||” header_4_text_align=”center” text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]
Words by Georgia Aspinall<\/strong><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2024\/11\/imago86226172-scaled.jpg” alt=”Tulisa” title_text=”English singer Tulisa Contostavlos attends the Specsavers Spectacle Wearer Of The Year at 8 Northum” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″] On last night\u2019s episode of I\u2019m A Celebrity\u2026 Get Me Out Of Here! singer Tulisa made a powerfully honest confession to her campmates. \u2018I\u2019m demisexual,\u2019 she said of her attitude to sex and dating. \u2018I need to have a really close emotional bond with someone \u2026 I need actual depth. I\u2019m a slow, slow burner. I\u2019ve been celibate for over three years.\u2019<\/p>\n Noting that the thought of sex with strangers makes her feel \u2018physically sick\u2019, the 36-year-old explained that while she\u2019s been on celebrity dating app Raya, she\u2019s never been on a date from it. \u2018I\u2019m not an overly sexualised person,\u2019 she said. \u2018For me, it\u2019s all about the connection and the emotions that I feel with someone and then wanting to express them in that way\u2026 [My body] is my temple, you cannot enter!\u2019<\/p>\n Demisexuality is a type of asexuality and is defined as having no sexual attraction without emotional connection. Less than 1% of the population reportedly identify as asexual, but numbers are growing as awareness spreads. That\u2019s thanks to many other public figures who too have spoken out about being demisexual or asexual too.<\/p>\n Michaela Coel shared in a 2018 interview that she considers herself \u2018aromantic\u2019, which is another type of asexuality that describes having little or no romantic attraction to others, while singer Chappel Roan also shared that she considers herself demisexual in a 2023 episode of the We’re Having Gay Sex Podcast – saying that the thought of one-night stands gives her \u2018crazy anxiety.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I don\u2019t like being demisexual, I wish I liked having flings,\u2019 Chappel, real name Kayleigh Amstutz, said. \u2018It\u2019s interesting because my [music] is very sexually forward, there\u2019s a lot of sexual scenes and queer sex. In a lot of the songs, album and visuals, that is the character of Chappel, that is the performance art of it. But I think I still have that \u201cChristian guilt\u201d vibe about sex in real life. I wish I could have flings and hook up with girls and it would just be a fun thing but it\u2019s so not for me.\u2019<\/p>\n In fact, Marilyn Monroe was famously reconsidered as asexual after excerpts from her unfinished autobiography showed that she too had no interest in sex. \u2018Why I was a siren, I hadn\u2019t the faintest idea,\u2019 she wrote. \u2018here were no thoughts of sex in my head. I didn\u2019t want to be kissed, and I didn\u2019t dream of being seduced by a duke or a movie star. The truth was that with all my lipstick and mascara and curves, I was as un-sensual as a fossil. But I seemed to affect people quite otherwise.\u2019<\/p>\n And Project Runways Tim Gunn noted he is asexual in his autobiography, writing \u2018I wasn\u2019t interested in boys, and I really wasn\u2019t interested in girls. For many years, I described myself as asexual, and I still think that\u2019s closest to the truth.\u2019<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-quote” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_2_font=”Libre Bodoni|||on|||||” header_2_text_align=”center” header_2_text_color=”#333333″ header_2_font_size=”40px” header_2_line_height=”1.2em” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″] Tulisa\u2019s admission then is just one of many, but it serves as a refreshing reminder that when it comes to sex and dating, there is no one \u2018right\u2019 or \u2018normal\u2019 way to view it \u2013 and it\u2019s having a powerful impact on viewers.<\/p>\n \u2018I love that Tulisa is raising awareness of demisexuality,\u2019 one reader told Grazia. \u2018I can really relate to that feeling of being physically turned off by the thought of casual sex and needing that bond to be intimate with someone. There\u2019s still quite a lot of pressure to be living this wild, sexually free lifestyle when your single, so you can feel really boring not partaking, but for some of us it just doesn\u2019t appeal.\u2019<\/p>\n \u2018I didn\u2019t label myself demisexual but hearing Tulisa explain how she feels really does fit for me,\u2019 another reader says. \u2018I feel like a lot of the one-night stands I\u2019ve had; I was doing it \u201cfor the plot\u201d as they say and not really because I was really attracted to that person or REALLY wanted to have sex. Since my last relationship a year ago I\u2019ve been celibate and have no interest in getting \u201cback on the horse\u201d, I\u2019m only now realising that that\u2019s fine.\u2019<\/p>\n For sex and relationship experts, it\u2019s important to distinguish that there is also a difference between not being very interested in casual sex, which can happen for a variety of reasons, versus being strictly asexual. In fact, clinical sexologist and therapist Ness Cooper explains that misconceptions around asexuality can then often have a knock-on impact to how people who identify that way are viewed.<\/p>\n \u2018There\u2019s confusion that anyone who doesn\u2019t want to have a lot of sex are automatically asexual,\u2019 she explains. \u2018This is sadly often used as a negative, even though asexuality is a very valid form of sexuality. Throughout time individuals who don\u2019t want to have sex or don\u2019t want to have certain types of sex have been infantilized or told that they must be broken, and as we know this isn\u2019t true. While having causal sex can be amazing for some, some may not enjoy this and that\u2019s perfectly ok.\u2019<\/p>\n And the shame goes both ways, with women who do loudly enjoy casual sex similarly facing stigma despite decades of efforts made to quash sexist narratives. \u2018Currently there\u2019s a big wave of purity culture right now too which may make it seem like there\u2019s less casual sex happening but in reality, it is still going on,\u2019 Ness says. \u2018Women are subjected to a lot of socio-cultural stigma around casual encounters, and while some are setting up more boundaries, there\u2019s still a lot of shame around women saying what they want.\u2019<\/p>\n The lesson? Have loads of casual sex or none at all, truly it doesn\u2019t matter what anyone thinks!<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider color=”#111111″ divider_position=”center” divider_weight=”2px” module_class=”custom-divider” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_margin=”0px||0px||false|false” custom_padding=”0px||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content”][\/et_pb_divider][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-texts” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|||on|||||” text_orientation=”center” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″] Photo: IMAGO<\/b><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" She joins a host of other celebrities that have shared their experiences of demisexuality recently.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":5077,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5072","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feature"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"guestgrazia","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5072","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5072"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5072\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5080,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5072\/revisions\/5080"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5077"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5072"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5072"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5072"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}I can really relate to Tulisa, I hate the thought of casual sex<\/h2>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” theme_builder_area=”post_content” sticky_enabled=”0″]