Your diary just got a whole lot hotter…<\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”credit-name” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”Black Han Sans|||on|||||” text_text_color=”#000000″ header_4_font=”|||on|||||” header_4_text_align=”center” text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”||0px||false|false” global_colors_info=”{}”]
Words by Alice Hall\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2025\/02\/imago800959277-scaled.jpg” alt=”Sex scheduling ” title_text=”This is exactly where I belong. a couples feet poking out from under the bed sheets.” force_fullwidth=”on” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” hover_enabled=”0″ global_colors_info=”{}” sticky_enabled=”0″] Work, dinner with the girls, sex. This diary entry is the new reality for couples who are increasing opting to schedule sex into their calendars. And although it may not sound romantic on the surface, it could be the key to having a more fulfilling sex life in our busy lives.<\/p>\n Just take Nick and Vanessa Lachey, c-ohosts of reality dating show Love Is Blind, who recently revealed they have a set day of the week where they get down to business in an interview with BRIDES. The couple, who have been married for 13 years, share three children together, but keep the spark alive in their busy lives by assigning Wednesday \u2013 aka \u2018hump day\u2019 \u2013 as a day for intimacy.<\/p>\n When speaking about her husband\u2019s initial reaction to scheduling sex, Vanessa said: \u2018”He\u2019s like, ‘What, schedule a sex day?’\u201d It sounds weird when you say that, so we decided: Wednesday\u2014hump day.\u2019 Vanessa went on to detail how the couple had fallen out of routine of their schedule since moving from Hawaii to Los Angeles, but she\u2019s hoping to get back into it soon. \u2018I don\u2019t want the time that we have for intimacy and connection to be taken over by logistics, but that\u2019s our life,\u2019 she added. \u2018I think we\u2019re coming into an age of having to have a hump day and a logistics day.\u2019 \u2018Happy hump day and calendar dump day,\u2019 Nick quipped.<\/p>\n The couple also revealed that couple\u2019s counselling helps to keep their marriage healthy. \u2018It\u2019s nice for them to see that, yes, we\u2019ve been together 19 years, married for 13, and we are seeing a therapist, and we still have problems,\u2019 said Vanessa. \u2018It\u2019s really important to have a third-person perspective that\u2019s an unbiased opinion.\u2019 Nick went on to explain how he was committed to working on their marriage. \u2018Anything that\u2019s worth having takes work,\u2019 he said. \u2018To me, that\u2019s a cornerstone of life, and marriage is no different. There\u2019s no shame in that.\u2019 He added \u2018There\u2019s no perfect person. There\u2019s just your person.\u2019<\/p>\n What Nick and Vanessa are referring to is known as \u2018sex scheduling\u2019 \u2013 when couple\u2019s deliberately reserve specific times in their diaries to have sex, scheduling the act as you would a meal out or a concert. The thinking behind sex scheduling is to prioritise sexual intimacy at a time when our lives are more jam packed than ever.<\/p>\n <\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text module_class=”custom-quote” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” header_2_font=”Libre Bodoni|||on|||||” header_2_text_align=”center” header_2_text_color=”#333333″ header_2_font_size=”40px” header_2_line_height=”1.2em” global_colors_info=”{}”] \u2018In the therapy room, I see that scheduled sex works brilliantly for some couples, while for others, diarising intimacy simply amplifies the sense of obligation, duty, anxiety or even dread,\u2019 says Natasha Silverman, Relationship & Psychosexual Therapist at bednerdz.com [https:\/\/bednerdz.com] \u2018It completely depends how each partner approaches scheduled intimacy, and the extent to which they understand and can communicate about sex and what it brings up for each of them.\u2019<\/p>\n Silverman explains that one of the biggest benefits of scheduling sex is that it removes the cycle of \u2018rejection and uncertainty,\u2019 continuing \u2018many couples, especially those with mismatched desire, get stuck in a dynamic where one partner constantly initiates and the other often says no. Lower desire partners rarely reject their partner because they don\u2019t love them, but because their desire is activated differently.\u2019<\/p>\n But just how common is sex scheduling? One study by wedding planning site The Knot found that just 2% of people reported scheduling sex, although 24% responded that they weren\u2019t happy with their sex lives. The number of people scheduling sex increased when it came to married individuals, with 14% reporting that they schedule sex, while 36% said they were satisfied with their sex lives.<\/p>\n When it comes to how often couple\u2019s schedule sex, one study found that once a week was the sweet spot. In 2015, researchers from the University of Toronto Mississauga studied the sexual habits of over 25,000 people in the US, aged 18 to 89, and found that weekly sex was best for maximum well-being among couples. This was true for everyone, regardless of whether the people were younger or older, men or women, newlyweds, or had been together for decades.<\/p>\n As sex scheduling becomes more popular, the discourse around it is increasing on social media.\u00a0 One user, sharing a picture of a book called scheduled or spontaneous sex?, wrote \u2018I see nothing wrong with scheduling sex. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen otherwise. Plus, then I know to shave my legs Also, having been in a long distance relationship, sex wasn’t exactly scheduled but it was a given each time we saw each other and that was scheduled so…\u2019<\/p>\n Some of the most common criticism around sex scheduling is that it\u2019s boring or that it takes the spontaneity out of intimacy. One user took to X to dismantle this idea, writing \u2018Scheduling sex\u00a0 = not boring, not a sign that your sex life is dead. Reframe it as an opportunity to build sexual tension, and nine times out of ten, the sex itself will be hotter.\u2019 Several users agreed with her, with one writing \u2018I love the anticipation! Sometimes I think helps to set a time limit, too.\u2019 Another commented \u2018As someone with a spontaneous spirit, even I have to agree with this! As long as you’re with good company it’s going to be a good time.\u2019 However, others disagreed. One user wrote \u2018If ur living with someone and have to schedule sex to make sure it still happens then your relationship has failed.\u2019 Another said \u2018Until your partner reneges or simply forgets.\u2019<\/p>\n Want to start scheduling your sex life? The key is to approach it with an open mind, says Annabelle Knight<\/span><\/a>, sex and relationship expert at <\/span>Lovehoney. <\/span><\/a>‘Remember that you\u2019re not scheduling specific hands and body parts to be in specific places at specific times; you\u2019re carving out time for physical intimacy of any kind. This doesn\u2019t necessarily equate to penetrative sex, but can involve any form of pleasure. It\u2019s \u2018sex\u2019 as you and your partner define it together,’ she says. ‘You may not even actually do anything physical – you might choose to use your time to talk about sex and what you both want from it. Because scheduling sex won\u2019t help you advocate for your wants and desires, so be clear about them with your partner. Because if those desires aren\u2019t met, sex can become unappealing.’<\/span><\/p>\n Knight recommends thinking of scheduling sex as ‘a way to build up anticipation,’ continuing ‘it can be as simple as one of you saying \u201cHey, I\u2019ve been thinking about us doing XYZ all day; I\u2019d really like to have sex tonight – can we make that happen?\u201d You then may spend the rest of the day sending flirty texts back and forth, and by the time you\u2019re together, the tension is simply unbearable.’<\/p>\n Silverman agrees, adding that couples should always allow for flexibility. ‘If the scheduled night arrives and one of you isn\u2019t in the mood, shift the focus to another form of intimacy rather than forcing it,\u2019 she says. \u2018Sex is just one part of connection – true intimacy is about creating a space where both partners feel wanted, safe, and excited to be together, in whatever way feels right that day,’ she says.<\/p>\n <\/p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_divider color=”#111111″ 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try?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":7184,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[8,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7118","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-feature","category-news"],"acf":[],"modified_by":"guestgrazia","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7118","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7118"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7118\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7185,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7118\/revisions\/7185"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7184"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7118"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7118"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/grazia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7118"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}It removes the cycle of ‘rejection and uncertainty.’\u00a0<\/h2>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”]
Ann Summers Signature Toy Set<\/h1>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][et_pb_row column_structure=”1_2,1_2″ use_custom_gutter=”on” gutter_width=”1″ module_class=”fp-details-wrap” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” custom_padding=”0px||0px||true|false” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_image src=”https:\/\/flatplan-plus-content.s3.eu-west-1.amazonaws.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/6\/2025\/02\/Womanizer.webp” alt=”Womanizer” title_text=”Womanizer” align=”center” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” global_colors_info=”{}”][\/et_pb_image][\/et_pb_column][et_pb_column type=”1_2″ _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” positioning=”absolute” position_origin_a=”center_right” position_origin_a_tablet=”center_right” position_origin_a_phone=”center_right” position_origin_a_last_edited=”on|tablet” position_origin_f_tablet=”” position_origin_f_phone=”” position_origin_f_last_edited=”on|desktop” position_origin_r_tablet=”” position_origin_r_phone=”” position_origin_r_last_edited=”on|desktop” positioning_tablet=”relative” positioning_phone=”relative” positioning_last_edited=”on|desktop” global_colors_info=”{}”][et_pb_text module_class=”fp-product-price” _builder_version=”4.20.4″ _module_preset=”default” text_font=”|600|||||||” text_font_size=”20px” text_orientation=”center” custom_margin=”||10px||false|false” custom_margin_tablet=”10px||||false|false” custom_margin_phone=”10px||||false|false” custom_margin_last_edited=”on|tablet” global_colors_info=”{}”]