{"id":20973,"date":"2026-09-21T05:00:00","date_gmt":"2026-09-21T05:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/?p=20973"},"modified":"2026-09-15T14:10:42","modified_gmt":"2026-09-15T14:10:42","slug":"phubbing-is-the-alarming-new-trend-that-threatens-to-destroy-intimacy-and-millions-are-doing-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/2026\/09\/21\/phubbing-is-the-alarming-new-trend-that-threatens-to-destroy-intimacy-and-millions-are-doing-it\/","title":{"rendered":"‘Phubbing’ is the alarming new trend that threatens to destroy intimacy – and millions are doing it"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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The case against ‘phubbing’<\/h1>\n\n\n\n
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There’s one simple habit that could be sabotaging your relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

words Charlotte roberts<\/h6>\n\n\n\n
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Let us begin by setting the scene. You\u2019re mid conversation with your partner, just about to get to the juiciest part of your daily debrief, when their eyes drift, just for a millisecond, down the phone buzzing on the table. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

They mutter apologies as they pick it up, promising it\u2019ll only take \u2018one second\u2019 to respond to this text. They nod along as you continue to talk, offering a half-hearted laugh as they pretend to listen – but deep down, you know that whatever’s on their phone screen is entertaining them far more than your office drama.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Enter phubbing: a term created to describe exactly that. A mash-up of \u2018phone\u2019 and \u2018snubbing,\u2019 it refers to the increasingly common habit of ignoring the person who\u2019s sat right in front of your in favour of your mobile device – be it a meme from a friend or a quick TikTok scroll. We\u2019ve all been on the receiving end of it (and we\u2019ve probably been the ones guilty of doing it, too.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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But while it seems harmless, nothing more than a nod to the reality of living in a constantly connected world, psychologists now say it\u2019s a habit we need to drop. According to some, it\u2019s actually doing far more damage to our relationships – and our sex lives, than we realise\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While a quick glance at your group chat might not sound like the worst thing to do on a date, it could be having a real-world impact for the person lying beside you. In research<\/a> from the University of Southampton exploring relationships and phone habits, Dr Claire Hart discovered that the more \u2018phubbed\u2019 you feel, the worse your relationship tends to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to Dr Hart, being ignored for even a minute can trigger a downward spiral for some relationships. Saying not everyone reacts the same way, she explains, \u2018It depends on personality, but once one person feels ignored, it can trigger a retaliation. They pick up their own phone, and that\u2019s when it becomes a dangerous spiral as each partner feels rejected or less valued than whatever\u2019s on the screen.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

‘sex and emotional intimacy feel harder to pull off’<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Simply putting down the phone following a quick glance isn\u2019t an easy fix, either. Often it can take a moment to get back on track once you\u2019ve mentally checked out to look at your most recent notification.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And if you thought phubbing was nothing more than an irritating dinner habit, think again – sexologist and Sssh.com<\/a> founder Angie Rowntree says our phone obsession is following us into the bedroom, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

According to research<\/a>, one in 5 daters now admit to having taken an extended peek at their phone screen while having sex. Next Big Idea Club<\/a> report that 65% of American adults sleep with their phones on or beside their bed – and perhaps more tellingly, one third of those feel so addicted to their screens that they\u2019d rather give up sex than lose their mobile phones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rowntree puts this down to how our brains have been rewired by the constant notifications our phones bring. \u2018We\u2019re training the brain to expect micro-dopamine hits with every feed refresh,\u2019 she explains, \u2018and the constant notifications interrupt concentration, arousal, and connection. Activities that require sustained focus, like sex and emotional intimacy, feel harder to pull off.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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It\u2019s not only physical intimacy that suffers either, with every single relationship in our life – be it friends or family – at risk of some \u2018phubbing.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Smartphones are linked to lower relationship satisfaction and high sexual distress, not to mention the drama they can bring to our friendships,\u2019 Rowntree explains. \u2018Social media and dating apps can distort our perception of reality and tax our emotional and mental circuits. They offer rage-bait and choice overload, i.e. that something better is just one swipe away. Factor in blue light and late-night scrolling messing with sleep, and our phones are \u201cphucking\u201d us as we’re all \u201cphubbing\u201d each other.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, how do we actually fix it? The good news is that not all hope is lost – and it doesn\u2019t require drastic measures. You don\u2019t need to ditch your phone or go full digital detox to pull back on phubbing. Instead, you just need to pick up your phone with a little bit more intention\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n

‘Our phones are “phucking” us as we’re all “phubbing” each other’<\/p><\/blockquote><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Speaking to Women\u2019s Hour,<\/a> psychotherapist Dr Regehr suggested that narrating your phone use out loud could be one simple trick to keep your phubbing in check.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead of silently reaching for your phone mid-conversation, Dr Regehr suggests saying out loud why you\u2019re doing it – with something as small as \u2018Let me just reply to this, and then you\u2019ll have my full attention again\u2019 or \u2018I just need to quickly look something up\u2019 making all the difference. According to Dr. Regehr, we\u2019re guilty of checking messages and swiping notifications almost unconsciously. By naming what you\u2019re doing can reassure your partner that they haven\u2019t been forgotten. \u2018It stops the other person feeling ignored, and it keeps you accountable, because you\u2019re less likely to drift into other apps or endless scrolling.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rowntree also offers some tips for keeping phubbing at bay, particularly when it comes to the bedroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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For couples looking to connect, she suggests keeping your phones out of the bedroom entirely. If that\u2019s too much of a challenge – and you\u2019re certainly not alone – then she suggests setting screen-free windows as a minimum. Agree on a period of time where you\u2019ll put your phone away, be it during dinner or an hour before bed, and spend that time \u2018rebuilding the habit of undistracted time together.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rowntree also notes the importance of turning off your notifications, especially when you\u2018re sitting down for some one-on-one time with a loved one. By disabling those non-essential alerts, she says, you\u2019re taking the first step towards breaking the cycle of constant pinging distracting your attention from the get-go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turns out the secret to better sex and happier relationships isn\u2019t that complicated – it\u2019s simply remembering that your partner may well be more interesting than your notifications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Photo: GETTY<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This must stop.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":20977,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_lmt_disableupdate":"","_lmt_disable":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-20973","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"acf":{"article_authors":"CHARLOTTE ROBERTS","send_as_draft":false,"send_as_paid":true,"send_as_featured":true},"modified_by":"guestgrazia","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20973","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/11"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=20973"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20973\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21073,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/20973\/revisions\/21073"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/20977"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=20973"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=20973"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/flatplanplus.io\/graziav2\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=20973"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}