On the face of it, Nicole Kidman has the life dreams are made of – her stellar career, her adoring husband, and their two gorgeous teen daughters notwithstanding. But for years now, the Oscar-winning star is said to have been living a secret nightmare, and it’s all down to her long-running estrangement from her two older children. 

The 56 year old has only ever publicly spoken about her separation from Bella, 31, and Connor, 29, whom she adopted with her ex-husband, Tom Cruise when they were both babies, a smattering of times – but it’s been clear in those moments that there’s been pain behind the scenes, owed to their ties to the Church of Scientology. As a so-called “suppressive person” or “SP” (that is, somebody who’s left the religious organisation and is therefore considered to be its enemy), Nicole is persona non grata to any Church member and, sadly, that seems to have long included Bella and Connor. Still, despite last being pictured together in 2007, the actress hasn’t lost hope that they’ll eventually reconnect, and she’s emphatically left the door open for that to happen. But now, we’re told, the actress is ready to reach out again – and with insiders reporting that Tom has relaxed his previously laser-focused commitment to Scientology, she’s hopeful that, this time, a reconciliation is truly on the horizon. 

“Nicole may have her complaints about Tom, but she can’t help but feel impressed by how well the kids have turned out,” says an insider close to the Big Little Lies star, who was married to Tom for 11 years before their bitter split in 2001, at which point he was granted custody of their children. “As their mother, the main thing she wants is for them to be healthy and happy, and she can see that they are, so that does take a weight off her mind. She appreciates that Tom has raised them to be such well-rounded and down to earth people, but of course she longs to be a bigger part of their lives. She’s very clear that there are no guarantees and that it will be up to them whether they want to spend more time with her, but she says she wouldn’t be able to forgive herself if she didn’t make a concerted effort.”

Although she’s never gone into any detail about the events that led to the children staying with their father post-divorce, Nicole has hinted that Scientology drove a deep wedge between them. In 2007, she revealed, “My kids don’t call me mommy – they don’t even call me mom. They call me Nicole, which I hate and tell them off for it.”


Much later, in 2018, she pledged her enduring love and support for her estranged children, while acknowledging that the pseudo-religion was largely responsible for breaking the family apart. “They are able to make their own choices,” she said of Connor and Bella. “They have made choices to be Scientologists and, as a mother, it’s my job to love them. And I am an example of that tolerance and that’s what I believe – that no matter what your child does, the child has love and the child has to know there is available love, and I’m open here. I think that’s so important because, if that is taken away from a child, to sever that in any child, in any relationship, in any family, I believe it’s wrong. So, that’s our job as a parent – to always offer unconditional love.”

Since then, there’s been some hint of increased contact between Nicole and Bella, who lives in London with her husband, Max Parker – despite the fact that Nicole did not attend her daughter’s wedding in 2015. In recent years, Bella has liked Nicole’s Instagram posts, and – tellingly – she still goes by the full name Bella Kidman Cruise. Connor, meanwhile, appears to be far more estranged from Nicole. He has dropped her surname, preferring to go by Connor Cruise, and as a high-ranking member of Scientology, is reportedly more wary of reconnecting with his “SP” mother. According to insiders, he lives a reclusive existence inside a Scientology compound in Florida, and spends most of his time working at the church’s “spiritual headquarters”, the Flag Service Organisation, nearby.

Nevertheless, it’s no secret that Connor idolises his father – and he’s always been happy to follow his lead. In recent years, Tom has become demonstrably less evangelical when it comes to Scientology, and has reportedly made the decision to no longer let it come between friendships and relationships – most recently reuniting with David and Victoria Beckham at the latter’s 50th birthday party in London, following years of rumoured bad blood between them after they apparently refused his invitations to join the Church.

Last week, a picture emerged of the 61 year old with Bella and Connor at a hockey game in Florida late last year – the first time the trio have been pictured together in 15 years – and, according to our source, seeing them together gave Nicole the push she needed to test the waters for a reconciliation. With Tom seemingly keeping a much more diplomatic view on anyone who has turned away from the Church of Scientology, we’re told Nicole believes he might just be the key to making this one stick. After all, she knows he’s burned his own bridges for good – including with his younger daughter, Suri, 18, who is said to no longer have any contact with her father thanks to Scientology. And she’s hopeful that, with an understanding of all the pain a family schism can inflict, Tom will help her repair her own family wounds. 

“She’s tried plenty of times in the past but the fact that Tom is so much more relaxed these days about Scientology has got her hoping that this time she might be able to gain some real headway,” says our source. “She’s taking it as a very encouraging sign that he’s back in touch with the Beckhams and seems to have forgiven them for refusing to join Scientology. She feels the door will be more open now, and she’s ready to fly to see them as soon as he gives the OK.”

Last month, Nicole beamed with delight while accepting a lifetime achievement award at the American Film Institute’s gala in Los Angeles. Taking to the stage, she paid tribute to her husband, Keith Urban, and their two daughters, Sunday, 15, and Faith, 13, telling the crowd, “Right there is the love of my life and the loves of my life…This is all because of you and I love you so much.” Still, despite her happiness in that moment, there were two people who were noticeably missing from their mother’s big night. Here’s hoping that, soon enough, Nicole’s dream will be realised and she’ll have all four children back in her life and cheering her on.