“Before you know it, they’ll be all grown up and leaving home.”
Who remembers hearing that one-liner when your kids were newborns? HELLO!‘s US Contributing Editor, Donna Francis, remembers it like it was yesterday.
Here, she writes about finding joy in an empty nest…
Last year, when my 19-year-old son, Oliver, left home for the first time for college, I realised that never a truer word was spoken.
We had moved to America from the UK two years earlier, and now he was moving again, from Florida to Virginia – a whole three states and 803 miles away (But hey. Who’s counting?). It felt like he was moving to another planet.
But it wasn’t just Oliver’s impending (and long-distance) physical departure that made my gut churn. It was the realisation that he was becoming an independent adult, and a truly wonderful one at that.
And there’s the double-edged sword that comes with being an empty-nester. Yes, things will never be the same again when your kids leave home.
You’ll feel sad and probably cry your eyes out every time you go past their bedroom, even in the weeks before they leave if you’re anything like me!
But after witnessing my baby move out, thrive at college and grow into a wonderfully independent, hardworking and kind young man, I realised that a surprising (and also gut-wrenching) joy can come from being an empty nester.
Seeing your kids thrive away from home brings an immense pride and cultivates tears of a happy kind. The random texts and unscheduled FaceTimes filled with exciting updates about their new life will bring you happiness in a way you had never imagined. And when they do come home to visit, you’ll soon laugh to yourself how you haven’t missed the endless washing and food prep that they bring back home.
One of my friends told me just before Oliver left, to remember that I’m not an empty-nester but a ‘bird-launcher’ and it’s so true! It’s a great way to reframe it.
And remember, when they do come home, the hugs will be so much sweeter, I promise.
BY DONNA FRANCIS