It was Jennifer Lopez’s 55th birthday today. To celebrate, the singer hosted a Bridgerton-themed birthday party in the Hamptons over the weekend. While she was surrounded by friends and family, including her mother Guadalupe Rodríguez, there was one notable attendee missing: her husband Ben Affleck. A report in People magazine said that ‘multiple sources’ had confirmed that Affleck was not present at the lavish event on the East Coast, where Lopez has been spending time over the last few weeks. Meanwhile Affleck had been spotted some 3000 miles away on the other side of the country just the previous day, when he was photographed without his wedding ring while out and about by himself in L.A.

The couple, whose marital status has been the subject of much speculation since divorce rumours first broke in May, also spent their second wedding anniversary apart, with Lopez photographed looking solemn as she rode her bike in the Hamptons, and Affleck photographed on his own in Los Angeles.

By all accounts, that these two have called it quits has been said to have been a done deal – with notable gossip column Page Six claiming last month that the couple had actually decided to split as far back as March. Indeed, Affleck did move out of their marital home in Beverly Hills on what was at first thought to be a temporary basis in May (at the time the pair hadn’t been seen in public together for 47 days), when he found a rental property in nearby Brentwood. That move was made more permanent at the end of June when it was reported that Affleck had removed all of his belongings from the lavish home – and it has since been put on the market for sale. 

So, if Affleck and Lopez are selling their home, seemingly living on opposite sides of the country, and choosing not to celebrate birthdays and anniversaries as a couple, why has there been no word from either of them about divorce proceedings? A report this week has claimed that there may still be a chance that they could reconcile, suggesting that they are making ‘last ditch’ attempts to save their marriage, including writing one another ‘love notes’ and giving one another space (2,882 miles, to be precise). Grazia’s source says that while the writing has very much been on the wall when it comes to their relationship as they know it, it has been Lopez who has been reluctant to throw in the towel completely and move towards an official divorce. ‘Jennifer loves Ben very much, and their reconciliation [after first ending their engagement 14 years ago] was something that made her very happy. On Ben’s part, he has also been incredibly passionate about Jen for a long time, but is said to be more certain about a split. It has been Jennifer who has been less sure about wanting to move forward with anything official,’ said the source, who adds that Lopez had been keen on a move to the East Coast prior to any of this relationship drama (she and Affleck were spotted house-hunting in New York in the spring), and is enjoying the break from the scrutiny of Los Angeles. ‘The paps would be after her and Ben constantly if they were in the same city,’ says the source. ‘It’s been easier for them to take some space while they figure out their next steps.’

This leads to the major sticking point between them: Affleck’s umbrage with the level of fame he and Lopez command as a couple. Indeed, in Lopez’s documentary The Greatest Love Story Never Told, which came out in February, Affleck admits he had some concerns about being thrust further into the public eye – and had zero interest in becoming a fixture on his wife’s social media accounts. ‘Getting back together, I said, “Listen, one of the things I don’t want is a relationship on social media,”’ the actor says. ‘Then I sort of realized it’s not a fair thing to ask. It’s sort of like, you’re gonna marry a boat captain and you go, “Well, I don’t like the water.”‘ He continued: ‘We’re just two people with different kinds of approaches trying to learn to compromise.’ That compromise has been difficult, say sources, although Affleck does enjoy collaborating professionally with Lopez (the pair worked together on new project Unstoppable which is still due for a huge world premiere at the Toronto Film Festival in September). 

Now, says Grazia’s source, the focus is on their children. After their initial split, Affleck and Lopez went on to marry and have kids with Jennifer Garner and Marc Anthony, respectively. They now share a blended family, Affleck has three children — Violet, 18, Seraphina, 15, and Samuel, 12 — with Garner, 52, while Lopez is mum to 16-year-old twins Emme and Max with ex-husband Anthony. Lopez was spotted with Violet just last week, arm in arm as they spent time together in the Hamptons. ‘They are committed to remaining close for their children’s sakes,’ said the source. ‘Things feel uncertain which ever way you look at them, and whether they will manage a U-turn on their separation is up in the air. But their priority is being a stable presence for their blended family. Everything else comes second.’