If any celebrity breakup has dominated the pop culture news cycle this year, it’s the divorce of Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. From early May to late August, their every move was scrutinised and dissected as tabloids predicted they were headed for separation. Then on 20 August, on what would have been their two-year wedding anniversary, Lopez filed for divorce. However, the confirmation that they were no longer together only peaked further interest. And now, their divorce etiquette is the gossip du jour.

If navigating a romantic relationship as two of the most famous people in the world isn’t challenging enough, they are proof that the aftermath is even harder. Luckily former A list couples like Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin and Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, who are on famously good terms, do offer something of a blueprint.

When Martin and Paltrow announced they were ‘consciously uncoupling’ in 2014, it sounded like peak wellness era PR guff. However, they have managed to build an admirable friendship with one another over the years and even go on holiday together with their new partners. Oh, to be famous with the world’s best family therapists on call!

Alas, in a much more relatable twist, this is something which, until recently, Affleck and Lopez were struggling to emulate. Three weeks after the divorce was confirmed, photos of Lopez having a deep chat with Affleck’s best friend Matt Damon at the Unstoppable premiere went viral. Then came the dubious reports that Lopez and Affleck were holding hands and kissing during brunch with their children, which sparked rumours that they might be getting back together. And in October whispers started again when Lopez gave her first interview since the divorce and said it nearly ‘took [her] out for good’.

Now though, Affleck has managed to flip the script with one simple statement. While speaking to Entertainment Tonight about his recent film projects, including Small Things Like These starring Cillian Murphy and the Anthony Robles biopic Unstoppable starring Lopez, he said, ‘[Director] Billy Goldenberg and Jennifer [Lopez] and Don Cheadle and Jharrel [Jerome], and Bobby Cannavale, all were really passionate about this film.’ And of his ex-wife’s performance he said, ‘Jennifer is spectacular.’

It might not sound like the grandest of gestures, but in a climate of unbridled celebrity gossip where Affleck is all too aware of his influence, his three words read as an olive branch and a clear attempt to be respectful towards his ex in public.
‘He’s trying,’ a source tells Grazia, ‘that’s why he was able to sincerely praise J.Lo when he was asked about her. He’s fully ready to push for her getting all the accolades she deserves.’

Short-lived marriage aside, Affleck and Lopez still have a working relationship. As well as collaborating on Unstoppable, Affleck was involved in the making of Lopez’s documentary This Is Me… Now: A Love Story, which came out in February, and they starred in Gigli and Jersey Girl together when they first dated in the early noughties.

There is clearly a mutual level of respect that they are hoping to maintain regardless of whether their relationship worked out romantically. Even when Lopez spoke about their separation with Interview magazine, she spoke in somewhat convoluted metaphors (read: ‘You dropped the house on me’) and refrained from going into any detail about what went wrong.

It’s also worth noting that Lopez cited 26 April as the separation date on the divorce papers, which means they made a conscious effort to be seen together and to speak highly of each other in the months that followed. On Father’s Day on 16 June, for example, Lopez posted a photo of Affleck on social media and wrote, ‘Our hero. Happy Father’s Day.’

They also have a vested interest in keeping the peace for the sake of their children. Affleck has three children with his ex-partner Jennifer Garner and Lopez has twins with her ex-husband Marc Anthony, all of whom reportedly grew close during Lopez and Affleck’s relationship. According to Grazia’s source, Affleck is ‘deeply grateful’ that Lopez has maintained a close relationship with his children and is ‘very on board’ with her having a good relationship with Damon and Garner too.

As with any separation, it’s likely that there is more to the story. If other sources are to be believed then their marriage was not always the most harmonious – or indeed what either party expected it to be. In that sense, the questions they haven’t answered and the things they haven’t said speak volumes about their mutual desire to be cautious and respectful.

Against all odds, Affleck and Lopez are well on their way toward an amicable ‘uncoupling’, straight from Paltrow’s playbook. It might not have been the Hollywood love story we had all hoped, but it’s not the divorce horror story some expected either.