Tis’ the most wonderful time of the year. From work Christmas party hookups to sexy Santa outfits, it’s no secret that the holidays are a time when our sexual appetite increases. I mean, kissing under the mistletoe is a tradition for a reason, right?

But finding time to get down to business during the festive season isn’t always straightforward. Whether you’re crammed into the spare room with young children or getting reacquainted with that very squeaky mattress you had as a teenager, opportunities for seasonal intimacy can be tricky to navigate. It’s little wonder that a 2020 Stanford study found that women experience a desire drought during the holiday season. Researchers found that women reported a dip in libido in the days leading up to Christmas Day, with low desire lingering until after the New Year.

Of course, some do manage it – and they do it with style. From sneaking dates through windows to hometown hookups, we’ve compiled a list of people’s funniest festive sex confessions…

‘His sister caught us in reverse cowgirl with a santa hat on’ – Vanessa*

It was just before Christmas, and I was due to fly back to see my parents in Australia, so my boyfriend and I were making the most of the time we had left together. He had a Santa hat in his room, and we thought it would be funny if I wore it while we were having sex, to get into the Christmas spirit and all that.
So, we were at it like rabbits, me in reverse cowgirl wearing the Santa hat, and who should walk in but his younger sister. She squealed, and we both dived under the covers – I think just my hat was visible over the covers. His mum, who was cooking dinner, shouted up the stairs ‘everything alright?’ We’ve never spoke about it since.

‘We had to have silent sex for an hour while everyone slept upstairs’ – Jane*

It was Christmas Eve and I’d been at my Grandparents house for a long lunch. After spending the day playing the good granddaughter, I couldn’t wait to see my boyfriend later, who was driving over from his home near Manchester. I was also drunk after spending the day drinking all the free red wine – and super horny, because we hadn’t seen each other in a really long time.

He picked me up and we got back to my parents’ house at 2am, where we listened to music and made cocktails. But soon, I was like ‘right, kit off’ and got on top of him naked on my mum’s favourite sofa. We had sex for an hour, trying to be quiet while everyone else slept soundly upstairs waiting for Santa Claus. I think we got away with it, but safe to say it wasn’t the innocent Christmas eve’s I’d known as a child.

‘We got caught in someone’s front garden’ – Helen*

I was back home for my birthday, which falls just before Christmas. My sister was seeing my friend’s brother, and we were all out in town and feeling quite merry. All for of us led the charge to the only pub in my local town that is open past midnight on Christmas Eve. I was walking with my friend, and he kissed me, and instantly we started making out while walking down the street.

Next thing I know we’re sprinting down what I thought was an ally to have sex. It was freezing cold, so just the trousers went down, and it only lasted five minutes or so. Five minutes later, Christmas lights came on in a window and we realised we were in front of someone’s house… doing doggy in their front garden. We made a speedy exit, and finally arrived at the second pub and faced a lot of questioning from my sister and his brother about our tardiness. Ho ho ho.

‘I snuck my Tinder date through my window’ – Pearl*

For me, going home at Christmas means one thing – boozy nights out in my hometown. A couple of years ago, I happened to find myself single. I came from a night out really drunk, and my whole family was asleep. Naturally, the only logical thing to do felt like to go on Tinder. I’d been talking to this guy, so decided to give him the classic ‘you up?’ message. He, unlike me, was stone cold sober. He ended up driving over at 1am and sneaking through my window, which was luckily on the ground floor. We didn’t waste any time getting down to business, and he ended up leaving at around 3am. He snuck back out the window and crept across the garden to his car. The next morning, I felt so sheepish and could barely look my parents in the eye. Safe to say, hair of the dog was needed.

‘He kicked off at my sexy Santa outfit’ – Minnie*

I wanted to spice things up with my new boyfriend who was visiting my parents’ house over Christmas, so I decided to whack out an old sexy Santa outfit I had in the cupboard. But he quickly put two and two together – that I’d bought this for one of my ex-boyfriends, and not new for him (hence the fact it was buried at the bottom of my cupboard). He got stroppy that I hadn’t splashed out on a new outfit for him, and that was the end of our intimate time.

*names have been changed.