The man who hates publicity has been doing a lot of press recently. Ben Affleck made a surprising admission about his dating life on the red carpet this week, just three weeks after his cover interview with GQ. In his defence, he is promoting The Accountant 2, which is out on 25 April, and promotional obligations are written into his contract. But still, given how carefully Affleck has cultivated his ‘I’d rather be anywhere but here’ persona over the years, any candour from him still catches us off guard.

In an interview clip shared by Page Six, Affleck described how he relates to his character in the film, Christian Wolff. ‘Here’s a guy who’s trying to figure out – he wants to have a relationship with a woman,’ the actor said. ‘He’s trying to figure out how to do that, how to put yourself out there.’

‘He’s not comfortable extending himself. He doesn’t really know how to flirt, exactly. He’s not comfortable, like so many of us,’ he continued. ‘It’s not easy for anyone figuring out relationships, particularly at the very early part, where you’re trying to gauge, “what does this signal mean? Is this person looking at me? Do they like me? Am I going to humiliate myself over there?”.’

These comments are rich with subtext when you consider that it’s been just under a year since he separated from his second wife, Jennifer Lopez, and eight months since she filed for divorce. Affleck is reportedly dipping his toes back in the dating scene but is keen to avoid the media circus that surrounded his last relationship.  

Lopez and Affleck, who first dated in the early noughties, tried to keep their separation under wraps last summer but it became one of the biggest showbiz stories of the year. They could not do interviews, attend events or even walk down the street without being bombarded with questions and harassed by photographers.

During their brief two-year marriage, it was clear that their combined star power took its toll. While Lopez was more adept to cope with it, Affleck became known for his ‘resting divorce face’ and for looking a different shade of miserable whenever they were pictured on the red carpet, at an awards show or simply getting out of their car. As such, speculation about their relationship troubles far preceded the separation itself.

Even so, both Affleck and Lopez have chosen to take the high road since parting ways. Whenever they are asked about what happened, they have both been respectful about each other and deliberately evasive about the details. Their divorce settlement also indicates that they are on amicable terms – both parties retained the assets they individually acquired during their marriage, despite not having a prenuptial agreement, and they split the legal fees equally.

This might be in large part due to the fact their children became friends during their relationship and have continued to stay close. Lopez has 17-year-old twins, Emme and Max, from her marriage to Marc Anthony and Affleck shares three children, Violet Anne, 19, Seraphina Rose, 16, and Samuel, 13, with his first wife, Jennifer Garner.

In his interview with GQ, Affleck explained, ‘the reason I don’t want to share [why he and Lopez split] is just sort of embarrassing. It feels vulnerable. There is no: “this happened,” It’s just a story about people trying to figure out their lives and relationships in ways that we all sort of normally do.’

In her own Interview profile last October, Lopez admitted that her ‘whole f**king world exploded’ when her marriage to Affleck fell apart, but she did not offer any details or say anything particularly disparaging. ‘You have to be good on your own,’ she added. ‘I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, “I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove myself that I can do that.” […] Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself.’

Lopez, for her part, has vowed to take a break from dating to focus on herself. Affleck’s recent admission suggests he is more open to the idea. A source recently told Us Weekly that Affleck is casually dating again regardless of his recent experiences. They explained that he is not one ‘to do dates in public’ and is ‘very low key’ about the women he sees. A second source revealed that he has dated ‘a couple of people’ and is ‘back to living the single bachelor life’.

‘Ben wants to settle down [when the time is right],’ they added, noting that he was briefly back on the celebrity dating app Raya but ‘it’s not his thing’. Another source said, ‘It’s a running joke that everyone has someone for Ben to date’ but he is reluctant to compromise his independence again. ‘He and J.Lo moved so fast. In the future, he’ll be more cautious. He’s much more centred and reflective now.’

Of course, it can’t be easy given that Affleck is tied to a new woman every week, especially when one of them is his first wife, who he has been divorced from since 2016. Not only is Garner already in a relationship, but she has obviously been offering Affleck emotional support, not ‘getting back together with him’ in any shape or form. Since his divorce from Lopez, which was only eight months ago, Affleck has been tied to Garner and Kick Kennedy, both of which have been rebuffed, and has been accused of being jealous of his ex-girlfriend Ana de Armas being pictured with Tom Cruise. It’s not difficult to understand why he might keep his dating cards close to his chest.

With all that in mind, Affleck’s comments about feeling uncomfortable extending himself romantically make a lot of sense. Good thing we’re reading too much into them – it’s unlikely he’s going to give much more than that away any time soon.